/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>46227216 (3/4)
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Hana was lying; that much was clear.

… But it doesn't matter. Whatever she saw in meditation, she doesn't want me to know about it. It's her choice, no matter how acutely it hurts me—a very weird, empty feeling echoed inside, like a small ember of my fire hadn't been returned…

It was weirdly comforting.

I finish putting my miko uniform, the fire inside—and Chen's scarf~—keeping my body warm, and leave the tool shed to meet my Hana, already fully clothed and distractedly playing with her ascot. The snow gleamed with refracted sunlight, the sun in its zenith, meaning we meditated for roughly six hours. “What do we do now?” She asks, and I hide the thump of my heart, a faint grin escaping even so.

To have someone want to spend time with you…

“I stocked a lot of meat and grains for winter, but not vegetables—I was thinking of foraging…” Hana's eyes widened, the slightly tense posture turning curious.

My puzzled expression was enough clue for her. “I didn't see m-many people coming to the shrine these past months… How can you buy if—” She stutters, either abashed or afraid of continuing…

Oh.

I scratch my nape, embarrassed. “Well, it's because I didn't buy most of it…” She gulps, and before I was accused of theft, I finished: “I hunted and foraged it~!” Deciding that wasting sunlight would be a terrible move, I pick up some empty baskets near the tool shed and start to fly, Hana blinking dumbfounded before following, the cold wind hitting her bare face yet she didn't appear bothered. Weird… “Next time you are in the village and see Kosuzu, can you say 'thank you'? The books I got at the Suzunaan were superb; I learned so fast~well, that may also be because of Ran… Some words were just so damn long.”

“O-Oh, uh… Sure, I'll tell her,” She then avoids eye contact. Yep, she was totally thinking I had stolen my stock. “Anyway—doesn't that bother you?” I look at her, confused. “Not having visitors in the shrine; donations…” Her voice was coy, speed decreasing as if to create distance between us.

Now it's my time to avoid eye contact, an acidic feeling rising inside. I know why she's asking that, and the crashing tsunami of shame feels horrible. So much of my life spent slobbing for money, delivering my wrath of its shortage on what should've been truly important to me… Like the gohei inside my sleeve, money controlled my life for far too long. “I don't care anymore. Money lost its purpose when I lost—when I drove you and your father away from me.” I gingerly slow my speed to match hers; she tensely stays put, and it greatly warms my heart. “… I don't think you need to hear this, not after you made the choice of pursuing your own life and freed your father that day, but if you ever feel like something is destroying your life—duties, money, people… Walk away. Your life means everything, and to exchange it for materialistic desires will ruin all that you love.” Hana stares at me, her eyes big and face completely exposed, hair buffeted by the strong winds—those eyes are mine; that nose is Anon's…

Our beautiful daughter…

16 years of food, water, and shelter to nurse you to this very moment. If I could provide all that again, but better, I'd do it in a heartbeat, my Hana. “O-Okay…” Hana mutters.

I smile.

Her flight after that seemed much more relaxed.

—

It was an otherworldly experience.

It wasn't much, really. We merely poked around the forest for hours, opened the ground in search of those sweet, nutritious vegetables, and stopped at a riverbank to drink and eat a quick lunch. At one point, we found a big deposit of winter rice in a tight spot underground, and while I was intending to use the gohei to destroy the ground and so reach inside the sunken hole, Hana had other plans.

She ‘simply’ distorted her body as if made of pure jelly and entered the crevice, harvesting all the rice with minimum trouble. Incredible power~When she returned to the surface, her face had this anticipation, holding the basket full of rice and edible—not all of them, though—roots…

I praised her with a thumbs-up and words of pride.

Her smile wasn't gigantic or shining; it was a small thing she tried to hide, but that was clear as day the moment I looked into her face.

It was silent; it was calm… And it was perfect.

After an entire day of collecting and exploring, evening arrived and then night, “Hana, I don't know how to make that 'coffee'…” Though my voice is perplexed, I bore a smile.

“I saw Sanae-san make it once; she grounded some beans, poured hot water, and then added sugar—any bean would work if the process is that simple, even basedbeans!” She said with conviction, her basket full of all kinds of vegetables and roots~so great the ability to fit in every crevice, for as small as it could be—

—My hand shakes, a spike of energy I'm familiar with, senses heightened and ready for immediate combat; Hana immediately jumps behind me as she senses the energy, trembling.

… Then it dawns on me: Oh, it’s Ran.