/jp/ - Otaku Culture

(1/-)
—
It was very unexpected.

They came from the Bamboo Forest of the Lost and marched the streets of the Human Village like an army, but instead of spears and katanas, they had each a basket full of colored eggs ranging from simple colors to intricate patterns. Some rabbits had adorable big bellies and others had baby bumps; a shy-looking bunch of rabbits, though, were plain like slabs—overall, they were unbelievably cute—and as they walked the paved streets, they handed everyone an egg, saying: “I offer you an egg in these trying times, usa~! Happy Easter!”, a practice that sparked smiles and drained what cuteness hadn't drained from the already corroded well of fear from Youkai.

As people ate the outermost chocolate, inside they found bunny-shaped treats and a small explanation of what Easter is; heightened moods made them read all of it, and the sweetness of the chocolate, as well as the old saying 'the easiest way to someone's heart is through the belly', made faith in Easter easily achieved.

Keine Kamishirasawa and Fujiwara no Mokou received eggs, and their kids enjoyed a lot of rabbit kisses; the humble Suzunaan could fit all rabbits inside, and Motoori Kosuzu made sure that the more curious rabbits left happy after a session of book reading; her, her husband, and two kids received eggs, too; Marisa Kirisame had her belly non-consensually cuddled and kissed, and unlike everyone else, she got three eggs—one for her, one for her kid, and one she personally stole—; Hana Hakurei was pursued and drowned in 'familial love' and got a bunch of the most ornate eggs, her face flurry red following the hugs she got.

People watched as the rabbits came and went in unison, smiling, and some even let their very pregnant bellies be patted.

The rabbit draped in pink watched it all with a smug smile, happy to see her family—a giant family, of course. So many new fruits, all sharing just one tree~—, but also because the plan was going flawlessly and no one suspected a thing.

It kept so until the gigantic Inaba herd tackled the HSE markets, with the word already having spread and people excitedly answering “Happy Easter!” when they got eggs.

By now, the whole village was aware of the glorious day of Easter~!

The timing was perfect.

Two hundred rabbits right in front of the HSE, powered-up by faith gained through the oldest trick in the book, on the single day when the rabbit is as strong as the dragon…

Yukari could've never prepared for the sudden flood, no protection on the outside to stop the doors—wow, not even doors! Curtains!—from being invaded, the first layer of defense, Ran Yakumo, wide-eyed as various rabbits jumped on top of her and brought her to the ground, nestling against her chest and tails. Immobilized by the sheer cuteness, one of Yukari's most formidable henchmen was out of the battle, her hands petting the fluff and her cheeks all red. “PROTECT ANON!!” The wolf tengu captain yelled, emboldening her forces as the feared White Wolf Vanguard quickly rerouted to the reception, swords in hand.

Some would say the wolf and the dog are two of rabbit's most terrible predators and that this war was lost the moment it began, but nothing exists without fault!

“Slings, quick!” Tewi ordered and the rabbits immediately pulled out bamboo slings, loaded them with tiny pieces of chocolate and aimed at the incoming barrage of ferocious tengu… In the next moment, death rained down in the shape of chocolate getting sniped inside their mouths. Deflated, the White Wolf Vanguard fell, clutching their bellies and sobbing with agony—that is why you never give chocolate to dogs!

Seeing this display, the clients waiting their turns scrambled out fast—not before getting each a nice egg, of course.

The Inaba Clan now controls the entrance and, swiftly, took to the hallways, where yamawaro tried desperately to build barricades that were ultimately overpowered by the rabbits, though they managed to buy time for another two henchmen to appear: Seija the Amanojaku and her square-shaped man.

But, oh, the Inaba family is prepared.

Forming a line, the rabbits began… booing while yelling, “Goro Akechi is better!” “You peaked in writing before joining Yukari!” and “You'll never be a real Yukari!”

Holding an arm to his eyes, Goro-san ran away, crying maiden tears. Seija followed after giving the rabbits a positive look and a thumbs up—Amanojaku language, but no one noticed.

A woman with a big lizard tail and a funny monkey came next, but the rabbits ignored them, which made the former cry too and, similar to the man, run away, the monkey following—though some rabbits stopped her to give her condolences for the death of her father, Akira “The Rock” Toriyama. Son Biten was very grateful for their prayers on this day of Easter.

With all those out of the way, the rabbit army finally managed to breach the inner sanctum where their shared husband waited.

Inside, their last obstacles left through a Gap filled with wide eyes.