/jp/ - Otaku Culture

...Something that wasn't happening right now, because there was a new distraction. "What the fuck!?" She looked to the side, at the doors to the library which had burst open. There stood Marisa Kirisame, her broom clutched limply in her hand. Her eyes were just as wide as Koakuma's had been, and her mouth was hanging open. Patchouli wondered what conclusion she would come to by herself. "Hello!?" Marisa called. She hadn't seen Patchouli yet, given her new location to the side of the door. "If you've blown yourself up without me, I'll be very disappointed!"

Patchouli rolled her eyes. That was about the most Marisa-like response she could think of. "No, Marisa, I have not blown myself up." Technically, she had, but she hadn't been caught in the blast, so... Marisa looked over at her, breathed a sigh of relief, and gingerly stepped onto the floor of the library. "You are perfectly safe in this area." Patchouli explained, indicating the space around them. "Simply refrain from moving too close to the damaged areas. I can imagine that in your current state, you would prefer not to take any risks."

Marisa stepped closer, though she kept glancing back to look at what remained of the library. "...Yeah, you got that right..." She hesitantly replied. "Not really looking for a fall onto Flandre's head, after all." Patchouli raised a hand and summoned one of the other undamaged chairs from underneath the remains of a bookshelf and dropped it in front of her desk. Marisa took the seat with a long, tired exhale. Pregnancy seemed to be taking its toll on her, if her energy levels were anything to go by. "Pregnancy sucks, by the way. I'm tired all the time and I'm so heavy that just walking around gets me exhausted. Not to mention all the stupid cravings. I was eating chargrilled sardine dipped in honey just the other day. Er, night." Patchouli understood the effects of pregnancy well enough, even if she had absolutely no interest in experiencing it. Cravings sounded like something excruciating. "Hey, I guess that's one thing I've got over you. I've got first-hand experience."

"You may think of it that way if it makes you feel better. I hardly need food, regardless." Patchouli conceded. Personally, she couldn't imagine a fate more horrific than enduring pregnancy. How would Marisa feel when it came out that Patchouli was, through strange metaphysical and slightly occult circumstances, a mother? "As you can see, the library is in a rather poor state to be hosting guests. What is your purpose here, Marisa?" She would have summoned Sakuya, but with all the magic lines in the library damaged beyond repair, she couldn't. Sending Koakuma in her place would have worked, up until her needs boiled over and she snuck off to replace the sugar with salt. That was why she was restricted to serving tea rather than making it.

"Oh, er...I just wanted to come by. Not much to do at home. My old mentor's disappeared somewhere, Alice and her mother are busy bickering, Reimu's fighting for her life to get Hana's approval...Lots going on, but none of it really involves me, so I'm just sitting around at home when I'm not going to Eientei for check-ups." Well, none of that was Patchouli's concern. As she had already realised, none of those schemes and plots mattered aside from ensuring that Hata no Sekai was freed from the HSE. Everything else was secondary. "Eirin says I can't do anything strenuous. It's killing me, Patchouli. I'm begging you, give me something to do!"

Well, far be it from Patchouli to ignore a willing volunteer. She'd just been having a thought about Sekai's book, too. There was a very potent anti-theft spell inscribed into it. Patchouli couldn't find the source, but she suspected that, given the scale of the rest of the book, it was likely inscribed in such tiny letters that the naked eye wouldn't be able to see it. "Something to do? More dangerous words are scarcely ever uttered." Patchouli shook her head at Marisa. "Very well, I shall give you something to do. Something non-strenuous, as much as I would like to make you assist Koakuma in extracting the book collection from the remains of the library."

"...You'd really trust me to do that?" Marisa asked with some confusion. She frowned. "Even with all the books I stole from you in the past?" She tried to take what Patchouli assumed was a habitual pose, only to remember that her belly was in the way, and settled for crossing her arms instead. "You sure you weren't blown up?"

It wasn't an entirely impertinent question. It did seem like a rather insane jump in terms of trust, but Patchouli was interested in seeing how much of a change Marisa had really made. "Well, I would receive a far better demonstration of your current magical prowess, and it would give you an opportunity to demonstrate to me that you truly are beyond your casual thievery. Unfortunately, you went and got yourself impregnated, so that option is off the table."

"H-Huh? How the hell did you...?" Standing from her chair, Patchouli turned and placed her hands behind her back. Marisa Kirisame stood in front of her, looking like she'd been caught out. "Er, hi..." She finally said. Patchouli regarded her emotionlessly. Several months along. She was a mess of chemicals. Her body wasn't up to a fight, which was good because Patchouli wasn't in the mood. "Before you try and barbeque me, I should probably tell you-"

"You're pregnant, and I wouldn't fight someone in your condition regardless. It would be inelegant." She strode over to the human magician, who managed to hold herself steady. "You've never been this sloppy when it comes to breaking into my library. Something has changed your mind. Speak." She tilted her head when Marisa failed to respond. "Speak, you black-and-white rat."

"R-Right." Marisa stammered. "Just - Er - Been doing a lot of thinking recently. Can I - Would you mind coming to the front gate with me?" Patchouli considered the question. On a regular day - As in, before Marisa Kirisame was with child - She would have already set her on fire. Did she have an accomplice? No, she thought. Unlikely. In which case, what reason did she have to ask her to the front of the mansion? A lure? A trick - A trap? No, that wasn't her style. Which meant that something was waiting for them. "C'mon, Patchouli. I'm being serious. You'll like it. Promise."

"I hardly see how going out of my library could be something I'll like, but... Yes, very well. I am sure you already know the way." She raised a hand to the library's exit. "But if I am not pleased, I will send you to Eientei regardless of your current condition." She lifted the grimoire she'd been reading with Remi and placed it under her arm. Marisa Kirisame's skull was remarkably dense and would survive being hit by the heavy tome just fine.

"S-So, um...Hana had her birthday party recently." Marisa ventured as she led the way through the corridor, Patchouli silently floating behind her. "It - Well...To tell the truth, it all went to shit. Yukari did something disgusting, Reimu showed up, a bunch of powerful people were gathered all in one place..."

The Hakurei girl. The last time Patchouli had seen her, she'd been equal parts shame and lust. "I see." She murmured. "I am hardly interested in a child's birthday party. Even if Yukari Yakumo was there. Why have you changed your habits regarding your pilfering of my library?" They reached the front hall, passed through it, and headed through the courtyard. Patchouli was forced to activate another spell to dim the light exposure of her eyes when she found the glare of the daylight to be somewhat overwhelming. Slowly, she increased the exposure until her eyes adjusted. "I sincerely hope you've brought me here for a good..." And for once, Patchouli Knowledge found herself stunned into silence.

A massive pile of books sat before her. It had all been lashed together with rope to keep it from falling apart, but regardless, it was still a pile about as tall as Marisa herself. She hardly had to look for more than a moment to know what it was. Yes - She recognized those names. Every book that Marisa Kirisame had ever stolen from her sat here. She slowly turned to look at Marisa, the question as visible in her eyes as it was on her lips. "Like...Like I said. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately." Marisa mumbled, smiling slightly. "Can we - Y'know, take this inside?"

"Meiling. Meiling!" Patchouli called, and the gatekeeper stuck her head around the gate with a frown.

"Lady Patchouli? What's - O-Oh, my." She paused. "How long has Marisa been in the mansion for? I saw the books, but...I thought they were yours."

"They - Are - Mine." Patchouli breathed. "In fact, they're all mine. They consist of every book that I've been tearing my hair out trying to find for years. Confirm that they are real, Meiling. Please. I do not trust neither my own eyes nor my spells at the present moment."

Meiling blinked. "Er, yeah... Yeah, they're real." She looked between the books and Marisa for a second. "Wait, how did you even take this many books out?"

"Don't - Don't think about it." For once, Patchouli felt like she was on the back foot. "Don't think - No, let's just..." She raised a hand and lifted the pile of books into the air. Spinning around, she headed straight back to the library, Marisa following behind her with a slightly smug look upon her face. Once she was safely sequestered back in her library, the pile of books settled in front of her desk, Patchouli turned to face the black-and-white.