/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>44813876
(1/-)
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I know what I did; I spiked his tea with a fertility pill and then drained his dick like it was to keep myself alive, but the thing about consequences is that they only hit now, almost two months later, when introspection whispers that was a TERRIBLE idea. I look at myself in the mirror with all my glorious 4'9 feet—sheesh, and I'm almost forty. Maybe it's karma for all the stealing?—And man, I really gotta change this shampoo; it's destroying my hair—and wow, I need to sh—

I sigh. Yep, no matter how much I try to distract myself, it's there. I look at it sideways, and it's even clearer—though still quite small—and... I smile fondly, caressing the surface of my belly with quiet pride, my frown soon creasing. I shouldn't be feeling happy about this, dammit; it was a hastily made choice with so much responsibility behind it...

Yet, I cannot stop feeling so happy, and my heart is so full and...

Dammit.

The chest tenderness was brushed aside as post-sex sensitivity; the vomiting? 10 days old soup, bad mushroom choices, and so on... But this baby bump? Yup, all the signs were there. Marisa Kirisame is pregnant, and she really doesn't know what to do.

I sigh, tense and feeling at the edge of a breakdown, and get myself dressed for the day, my mind an infinite loop and my movements automatic.

I was about to hop on my broom when a sudden question popped into my mind: is this safe for the babies...? Stop that, you idiot! You don't even know; it may be only one—and it may not even be a pregnancy at all—or maybe the loneliness is making me insane...

... Ugh, I sit down on the ground by the door of my house, just staring at the forest and feeling the breeze.

God, what have I done?! I raped him! This is what Reimu would do to him, not me!

I recalled days when I was Anon's only escape, his and Hana's, and the trust I could see in his eyes. My hand rests on my belly, and I wonder if I'll see that trust snuffed when I tell him the news. I look up at the blue skies and clouds... Nah, probably not. He'll think it was an accident; he'd never blame me.

Yet, the same can't be said for me. I'll forever the crime I committed.

... That cloud—it looks like a tiny baby. So cute...

Oh, it's raining.

Great. Just great. I pull my hat down and hide my face, but the rain is not coming from the skies; it drenches my face and dress, and, passing my arms around my knees and pulling them to my chest, I doubted the rain would ever stop.

For long, I stood there, crying alone and lost in my own little world, but a voice awakened me like thunder; "Marisa?!"

It's Hana. It's Hana; it's goddamn Hana!

I looked up, eyes wide and red, hurriedly cleaning tears, my apprentice looking at me with a mix of perplexity and confusion, hastily closing the distance and kneeling by my side, me struggling to get anything out; "H-Hana, I—!"

"Why are you crying? You were late, I thought—" How can I even tell her this? She, who went through so much with Reimu, barely managed to escape, and then was trusted into this hell Yukari created... And that I took part in. My face contorts, tears streaming, and Hana hugs me, my hat falling by the side as I clasp her arms and cry loud and ugly—the adult, the responsible adult, crying in the arms of the child... "It's okay, Marisa; I'm here. I'm here."

My nails almost sink into her flesh, but I control myself, my body shaking with the looming consequences of my actions. I ignored and ignored, looked the other way, indulged in superfluous pleasure, high on dreams, seeking a way out of this crippling loneliness, anything to call mine, and now—

I didn't even notice I was spelling that out loud.

Hana's eyes were broad and confused, the cryptic words making no sense but carrying this sense of inexplicable terror, "Marisa..." She whispered and, with a lump of ice possessing my throat, I fought for each word.

"I... I... We—me and Anon, we..." I said through hiccups, face a deep red. Hana's eyes narrowed, her mind processing until they finally went wide with understanding. "I was so hopeless, Hana! I tried to save him again and again, and it led to nothing, and then your father... he comforted me, and... we..."

Hana's hug became tighter, to my surprise. "It's okay, it’s okay," her voice had a trembling to it. "Was it consensual? Dad wanted it?" I nodded frantically, lie by omission crawling on my back. "Good... thank you, Marisa—b-better you than anyone else." She smiled relieved, brushing my hair. "You two, huh?.. I like the thought of you and Dad together."

My heart pumped liquid courage, her words filling me with warmth unlike anything I've ever felt inside the house behind me.

Hana accepts me; the thought of me and her dad together makes her smile...

... That dream of a family of five—a happy family—burned true.

"Hana," I whispered, holding her wrist and smiling, tears now of utmost joy, the lie a snuffed storm. She looked at me, and the words were easy. "I am pregnant."