/jp/ - Otaku Culture

For a second I was thinking, "should I go magical realm?"
The answer was that it was always my magical realm from the start. I did this, I'll do it again.
This is enlightenment

Sitting there in the cold of that silent night all you could hear was your own heartbeat until the word, "Yes" slipped out of your mouth as you felt it cruel to let her go without an answer, even if she already knew what it would be. You could tell she was crushed in a way you've seen all too often in recent times as she kept her silence simply sitting on the veranda crossleged with her hands clenched and grasping the cloth of her outfit as she stared at the thick winter dress as if it had the solution for your marital problems. Reimu's voice croaked out in that unique way of someone just a hair's breath from breaking down into a wreck, "Can't I do anything... is there no way you'd let yourself love me again...?" she looked up at you her eyes forming tears that glistened in the cold indifferent moonlight yet refused to fall. "I just want us to go back to what we used to have! Just tell me what I have to do... I'll do it! I promise!" the desperate miko was one step from yelling at this point and from her sitting position was half crawling to you as she closed the distance in her plea.
She made it hurt, your heart was pained taking yet more of an emotional toll you didn't know you had to give and you wanted to embrace her and love her like you used too the closer she moved towards you. That couldn't be done however, the more love filled your heart the more the pain did in equal amounts did as you remembered how her face would twist into sadistic grins as she beat you mercilessly into unconsciousness striking at your wounds until they strained and cracked under her assault. It was as if for a second that mask of rage she used to wear superimposed itself onto her pleading sorrowful face and you could vividly remember how she'd leave you battered and broken, not even letting you rest as your body accumulated more and more fractures, welts, and breaks until you were left a pathetic hobbling mess that could barely power through your daily chores without passing out from the pain with only the fear of more violence keeping you going. The memories of how she'd rape you with glee as you lay there concussed and bloody while your body shrieked in pain as she'd exacerbate your injuries completely helpless under her thumb played in your mind the more the lid you on your heart leaked its contents out like a geyser.
For a few moments you felt weak and shaky as a cold sweat formed on your brow as the sights and sounds flashed before your eyes and felt vividly real before you were able to push down those memories and return to the moment. You realized you were shaking and breathing harder almost to the point of hyperventilating as Reimu's expression warped from pure desperation to one of worry, "A-Anon!? Are you alright?!". She hesitated but put her hand on your shoulder shaking you lightly bringing reality back into focus, "A-ah... That..." It took you a long second to regain your composure, "I-I apologize... I lost myself there for a second...". A bit of relief mingled with the worry on her face, "What... what happened to you?" she seemed to already know according to the dread that crept across her eyes. "I... no.. its nothing..." you realized after you said it that it was pointless to hide it, so you took a deep breath to clear your head. "When you got close to me... I really did feel something for you, and when I did... all the bad times came flooding back too like a vision...".
The dispirited miko sat back like all the wind left her sails and her eyes looked hollow as they stared at the ground, "Kasen. Kasen told me about that when you were at Eientei... She said you kept suffering from nightmares when you were recovering, that you would have flashbacks sometimes and get like this.". Her voice was as hollow as her eyes by that point, "I've ruined everything haven't I...?". Reimu stood up slowly, she seemed more fragile then any other time you've seen her, her walk was heavy as if the weight of everything seemed to weigh even on her footsteps as she took a step towards the door when she stopped for a second and without facing you said, "i'm going to take a bath first, the water should still be warm.". You watched her recede into the hallway adjoining the living room through the open doors that she didn't bother closing behind her, your words may have failed you as you knew lying or denying the truth would get you no where but you knew you couldn't let her end the night like this and let the despair consume her soul.
Despite everything that may have happened, despite the trauma you have to endure at her uncaring hands you couldn't let Reimu sink into despair like this, so you followed her inside the dark and gloomy shrine determined to save the heart of the women you gave your life too.