/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>46607050
i think she'd be more tangibly soft, though i do respect a good fist

>>46269144 (4/4—p7)
—
My heart sank.

Secrets Mother doesn't want to hear—my secrets… Flashes go through my mind: me and Yukari—'mama', I called her—in bed with Father, his strong fingers working her and his shaft me, a haze of lust numbing me to the dead eyes of a corpse; Aunn holding me and exploring in-between my legs; Kasen pumping three fingers, making me clench and scream… Tears were accumulating on my eyes before I noticed and, desperately, I sought Mother's gaze. She looked at me with puzzlement, fists open and closing, questions more than clear behind those onyx-almost-red of hers.

No, no, no, no-no-no—she mustn't know!!

If she gets to know I'm a terrible monster, a being most foul and wrong, that I let myself get perverted to such extensions for pleasure that didn't last more than a day—I—I-I don't think— “Your daughter seems to despise the idea of you knowing whatever she's hiding, Hakurei miko. Why don't you beg your good mother to go kill that dragon, little Hana? It's best for everyone—”

“—YOU CREEPY BITCH!” A spork almost cleaves Okina's head off her shoulders; a fast backdoor there. Toutetsu looked livid. “What the fuck do you think you're doing to the poor girl, eh? You think I'll stand here and watch as you tear her apart—don't you FUCKING know the struggle 'twas to get them together?! How emotional I got hearing Reimu’s history?! I fucking hate stories with bad endings, especially between families, and if you instigate this one, I swear, I'll fucking devour yours and your little dancers' heads!” She hits her spork against her shoulder, standing in front of me and Mother as if a guardian.

Still, Okina simply sighs. “You really do lack tact. Do you understand what's the alternative here, Toutetsu? Come the Solstice, not only will we have Yukari and Kasen as foes, but Kasen won't switch sides and there'll be a dragon there fighting for Yukari!” She slams her chair’s arm, facade breaking for a mere moment to reveal a paramount chafe and rage, my body shivering and recoiling back as did the cat's—still holding onto Mother—and Aya's, whose concentration in writing didn't falter. This is a turning point in what's to come…

They keep discussing: Toutetsu is pointing a finger, yelling things; Ran is trying to calm them down; Satori watches with complete scorn; Aya is scribbling on her notebook; and the cat watches with thick tears falling from her eyes.

… But my mind is somewhere else.

Begging Mother to go kill Kasen-nee's dragon—her family, Mother said—would stop Okina from telling her my secrets…

The mere thought makes me feel like swimming in a sea of trash, of smearing tartar that burns and acid so fetid it melts. Egotism doesn't start to describe the act of taking someone's life to keep these mistakes and secrets hidden away…

B-But what am I supposed to do otherwise?! Let Mother hear all those awful things?! I'd never be forgiven; others would know, too! Every single friendship I've painstakingly built—Marisa-sensei; Yuuka; Alice; Mima; Sana and Sara; Sanae; Kanako—would shatter under the weight of those innocent sins…

I'm not looking, but I know Satori's gaze on my trembling frame is one that could kill a man. Mother must be looking at me with disgust, probably imagining the worst; Ran, Aya, Toutetsu—they must be ashamed of me crying like this… Would the cat feel pity for me, this monster, as she felt for Mother?

My fists clench, the chains of a decision so terrible threatening to noose my neck and pull me down.

How many times has that happened?

A power to be never chained down, yet again and again I find myself at the mercy of people more powerful than me—for how long will that continue? Just for how long will I let myself be stomped?

Frustration burns like lava and all I want to do is lay down and cry…

… I don't want that. I don't want Koutei, Kasen-nee's family—so much was taken away from her already… I'm so sorry—to die…

'There must be another way,' a voice like that of a devil whispers sweetly in my ears. There's another way; there is…

I-I could just… beg Yukari, right?

She let me call her 'mama', so she does care about me! It's not much, and though she'll question me and seek answers, we'll figure that out!

I can persuade her to free Koutei in return for supporting her during her pregnancy and standing by her side! I'll be her baby's big sister, and we—us, her baby, Father—will be a family! She'll h-hear me; it's my only good option—it is my only option!

Clothes exploding, wide and bloodshot eyes; the devil’s smile—her lips on mine, her taste in my mind and Father inside of me—all his pain, his suffering…

It'll all end when we become a big, happy family! Us four…

That'll happen.

It'll surely happen.

Toutetsu is yelling, Okina is losing her cool, Ran is not getting results and the cat is crying so hard and holding onto Mother as if salvation. My mouth opens, body trembles, eyes puffy, ready to tell them my plan…

One voice silences all. “I refuse,” Mother says.