/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>45152278 (3/4—p2)
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Dumbfounded, I stare at him. This… Everything in the last five seconds threw me for a loop, my 'genius' mind coming to a screeching halt—all while Anon laughed, my cheeks glowing red in embarrassment; "Anon, what's the meaning—"

"Knocking on some sense onto you—you looked like you needed it," his laughter dies down to a grin, expertly handling the spider, apparently having never forgotten it was there. "Can you believe her?" He talks to the arachnid. "She thinks she's not doing enough—that she, you won't believe, has lost sight of what's important!" I feel the red deepening, stomach growling with a bitter feeling, tails getting bushy. Why is he treating my words as jokes?! Was what I said—

—fingertips slide behind my gown, and I tense like a rod… They gently pressed on whip scars, already healed, but never closed. Bitterness went with the wind, and our eyes met, mine growing tired, confused, sad…

He pulled himself close, leaving the spider on its net, catching my hand on his free one—subconsciously, my tails swarmed around us. Cozy. "Ran… I understand your fears—sorry for the bluntness." He touches my forehead with his, and it's like that bitterness never existed to begin with. "But we're all doing everything we can. In this situation, without me; Chen, or you… Yukari would've already won, and I wouldn't be here, playing with spiders with Chen!" He giggles, eyes glancing at the shrine before returning to me, shining. "I don't doubt thoughts like those won't stop coming—so, during them, remember this moment," he squeezes my hand. "—and what are you fighting for." His open hand soothe my scars—heaven…—before withdrawing it.

I swallow dry, digesting his words—such heartwarming words—incapable of stopping a smile from creeping on my face, tears of before threatening to return.

"About us," his smile is still there, tense but firm. Decisive—and though I can spot anxiety there, confidence overpowers it; he trusts me to hear. "I… don't want an immediate relationship when I leave. A lover, sex—I want to heal, Ran. Have friends close to me; take care of… responsibilities. I want freedom to let this terrible past where it belongs—in the past—, and move on." My mouth goes plain, eyes wide, heart freezes. The feeling is overpowering, and I feel like going numb—oh, he's laughing again. "Already jumping to conclusions? Gee, you're worse than Hana, Ran!"

"W-What?!"

"Sorry!" He touches our foreheads again. It's becoming a habit… I like it, though my heart rate is through the clouds. "… I want you there for the path, Ran. I don't know if you will, but I do. Every day that I feel like a human again—like I'm not falling into a hole so deep the fall gets extremely boring—I want you there to hug me, to talk about weird, complicated math, to sing as I swing a nightmare out of Chen…" His eyes reflect mine, and both are shining, a smile free of pain taking on his face. "I want you in my life!"

Ah… now it's clear. It seems I indeed lost sight of my objective—his hand is warm and firm on mine—letting my desires for a better life, one without whippings, without this stress, threats on Chen, corruption; the gnawing fear that one bad client may go too far and break my whole world apart…

Amidst all that, I did lose sight of what’s important.

I feel hot tears leaving me, yet I keep smiling.

… Because it's good to have someone there to put you back on the path. Someone to guide you when you're lost, to hold you when it's too hard—after all, a relationship is more than cuddles; sex; words, and kisses—

… It is this safety.

"Sometimes…" Words threaten to get frozen in my throat, but I push through. "… I think about us. A home. Kids." I smile fondly, laughing when I don't see an ounce of surprise in his face. Ah, I wonder when he got so good at reading me~ "… Thoughts like these keep me going through the day, growing with the proximity of my estrus…" I close my eyes and exhale. "I want you in my life, Anon, I do… But not like this, where you're just an end goal—I'm sorry."

"Heh, it's okay—it's a sweet dream, for sure…” Oh! My eyes slit as I notice he's blushing. "… Though not immediately the others… I think we can start with the house. Takane-san and I talked about a big project of hers, where I could live and be happy. We three together can build something we'd be proud of." I giggle, and he raises a brow. "What?"

"Just pondering if I’ll need to ask her for your hand in marriage." I joke.

He pauses, then laughs. The blush grows. "Who knows!" He grins before resuming. "After the house is done, and we've healed from this place…" He brings my hand close to his mouth and gently kisses it, his blush unlike anything I've seen before. "Then I'd love to work with a woman like you for the rest!"

We stare… Then, we laugh in each other’s arms, joy washing over us in waves.

It’s nice to have someone you feel safe with.

Unbeknownst to me, In the distance, Chen reads on the veranda. She glances at us and smiles.