/jp/ - Otaku Culture

"Explain." Marisa opened her mouth. "Explain in one word. The more words you use, the less sure of your motives I will be. Explain why you have appeared today. Explain why you've returned all the books that you have stolen over the years. Explain everything, and do it in one word. Take your time." Patchouli continued to stare at the pile. She'd forgotten that she even owned some of these. Already, at least three long-standing problems had been solved just by seeing the titles alone.

"...Absolution." Marisa finally spoke. Patchouli stared at her. Absolution. An ecclesiastical declaration that a person's sins have been forgiven. Well, the Church was not here, but she understood the meaning. Marisa was seeking forgiveness... But why? Wait, no... Something she'd said. The awkward small talk - The Hakurei girl's party. Reimu - Her mother had shown up. Yet... They were supposed to be estranged, which meant that either that had been part of things going badly, or the opposite had happened. And if Reimu Hakurei was back to her old self, she may have spoken to Marisa properly for the first time in years. Which, in turn, meant...

"It seems that Reimu Hakurei's head has cleared up, then." Patchouli stated.

"H-Huh? What the - Yes, but... How could you possibly have figured out-" Marisa's stammering was getting tiresome. She couldn't see the connections.

"I'm incredibly clever." Patchouli replied lazily. "You have returned all of my books to me. Even if you've spoken to Reimu, this still seems very... Altruistic." She'd already checked that there wasn't something like an explosive hidden beneath the outer layer of books. No, it really was just books.

"You don't know what things have been like outside the library." Marisa muttered. "Can I sit down, please? Standing so much is murder on my back when my belly is so big, you know." Patchouli lazily waved a hand and pushed the chair that Remi and Meiling had already used today back out. "Ah, thanks..." Marisa mumbled, dropping into the seat with a sigh of relief. Patchouli asked her to continue. "It's - A lot has changed since the HSE showed up. There's all these factions, and my old mentor showed back up, and everyone's got their own designs, and..." She trailed off and Patchouli stared at her. "Reimu nearly died recently. She gave up on everything. The Shrine. Herself. Her friends...She didn't eat for over eight days."

"I haven't eaten in over eight decades." Patchouli replied. It was about the most petty response she'd given in eight decades, too.

"But - But she was reminded of what was really important to her, and she came and saved Hana from a...Horrible fate. She begged forgiveness - Reimu Hakurei, actually down on her hands and knees begging Hana to forgive her."

"I'm waiting for you to summit the peak of Mount What's-Your-Point, any moment now." Patchouli told the witch. "Marisa Kirisame, I want to know why you've returned my books. Not what family drama you've been dealing with."

"The HSE!" Marisa barked. "The fucking - that fucking building. Anon's trapped in there and I went in with the intention of saving him. Instead, I raped him. I got pregnant, and I was terrified of what Reimu would do when she found out... And then she forgave me. And I realised that... Life's too short for lying to yourself. At least, a human's life is. I was lying to myself. I've been lying to myself for twenty years. I know it's not your problem, but..." Curiously, there were tears in the corners of Marisa's eyes. Patchouli tilted her head and twitched her fingers. Shame. Yes, she'd suspected so. Shame and guilt, but below it, a sense of soaring happiness. She'd been forgiven and forgiven Reimu in turn. "I've been a fool. A mess. I let Reimu suffer. I let Anon and Hana suffer. I let them feed into each other's pain, locked away in that Shrine for years."

"...And now?" Patchouli had had a snide remark on the tip of her tongue, but...Something about the scene had gotten to her. It had broken through her usual clinical defences.

"I let them suffer, and I've been letting Anon suffer in that building for all the time. All this time, and I'm still the same immature witch as I ever was." Marisa laughed humourlessly. She looked serious about this. In fact, the tears in the corners of her eyes were threatening to pool further and turn into a stream. "So... I'm doing better now. Reimu forgave me, even though I didn't deserve it. But - You, Patchouli. I can actually do something to earn your forgiveness. I can't hope to grow up unless I do this properly." Marisa's hand swept out to the pile of books. "Every book I've ever stolen. I want to wipe my ledger clean. I'd - I'd get down on my hands and knees, but...Y'know. Bit of a struggle." She awkwardly indicated her stomach.