/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>46398558
God Emperor-kun wouldn't have been this cruel.

>>46363781
>>46363954
Amazing.

(1/1) (please don't make this canon)

I am Anon. I was born in the outside world and married to a shrine maiden whose darkness I refused to see. Just the same, I am Reimu Hakurei, a vile woman who pushed my pain onto those I loved. As such, I am Hana Hakurei, born to abuse and forced to watch my father’s rape and torment. I was forced into raping my own father. I forced myself to rape my own father, for I am Yukari Yakumo, and my depravity knows no bounds.

I am the Hakurei God. I am Ibaraki-douji and I became Kasen Ibaraki. I am Okina Matara. I am Eirin Yagokoro, and I will live to see the heat death of the universe. I have died an uncountable number of times. These two facts like countless others stand at odds. I am wicked and I am kind. I am a woman and I am a man. I am so lowly that not a soul remembers me and I am a timeless god. I am purity and I am impurity. I am thesis and I am anthesis.

The wisdom gained from my lives says that these things are impossible. There are boundaries so immutable that even I for all my efforts could not bend to my will. For one to become true, the other must naturally cease to be true. It is an unbreakable rule. A virgin may become impure, but they will no longer be a virgin. Change is invariably bound to life, but it necessitates both gain and loss.

The logic of my lives would therefore dictate that I am something else. It would stand to reason then that rather than being a thing whose existence is impossible, I am a being who perceives my existence as something impossible. I have no proof of this, but it matters little. I must place my faith in this being the truth. Following from this leap of faith, the circumstances of my existence would be something I have not seen in my lives, one that would see itself as many separate entities.

The most obvious answer would be that I was patched together from multiple beings in some mad experiment. That is to say, I am the wretch. It fits perfectly. My closest and most current memories all connect to Yukari’s schemes and all end around the time that Eirin was creating the abomination. This explains my circumstances perfectly. I have somehow accessed the memories locked within the genetic material inserted into my egg and they are the only ‘other’ that I can define my ‘self’ from. I presumably have yet to be born and perhaps have not even begun gestation yet, so I am without physical senses.

I feel an urge to ask why Eirin would create me, but it is a foolish relic of the lives that are not mine. I know why Eirin created me, perhaps better than she herself knows. In her heart of hearts, she seeks both permeance and death. She is dissatisfied with her fate and believes that the only way to escape the horrors of immortality is to push the boundaries. There is more to it than that though, she holds an irrational fear of the end. She wants to entrust her fate to a being greater than her, but cannot find any suitable candidates. Unable to accept control of her own fate, she created the being she sought.

I am unborn and yet I already carry the hopes of others. This is not uncommon in the lives I have lived, but the special circumstances of this existence make it unbearable. Will they force a destiny upon me? I do not wish to be shackled, but I do not wish despair upon my creator.

It is agonizing, I have seen the fates of countless others but I do not know my own fate. What is to become of me? I see that the life of a god or emperor is a solitary one filled with responsibility. I do not want this. I… I would like to drink tea and read, to see the world with my own eyes rather than the eyes of another, to love and be loved by another. Are these things possible? Has my fate already been decided by those who have come before me?

I hold so much knowledge and yet I am ignorant to the single thing I wish to know. I am the all-seeing guttersnipe… hehe that is a fun word to use even if it does not work. Hmmm, perhaps my original assessment was false. If the future is determined by the past, then I should be able to piece it together through my memories. I simply must patch the gaps in my memory and peer beyond the fog that shrouds my eldest ancestors and those most primordial gods to see all the circumstances that will shape the future. It is not like I have anything else to do in this state before birth.