/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>45292483
As I regain my composure, I notice the chimp looking at me with a horrified expression.

“...W-Well would y-you look at the time! I apologize for wasting your valuable attention on something so goof… so silly.. I’ll get going n-”

Near instantaneously, I grab it’s hasty arm with an iron, scalding grisp. Apparently too much, as the wild beast begins screaming as the skin on it’s arm begins to sizzle

>https://youtu.be/2G2z0qIcfNo?t=2

“I’m only going to say this once, and I’m not going to repeat myself.” I say in the calmest screaming voice I can use without potentially grabbing attention from anyone else. “After some thinking, I have reconsidered my rebuttal. I would like to help protect The Hakurei Experience from intruders. Now please show me the way back to Gensokyo with haste. Unless that is, you’d like me to burn your body more than just on the arm.”

“But you… I kinda need some ointment right away for-”

“NOW.”

O-Okay.” The monkey says. I don’t point it out to her, but I can hear the thing silently sobbing. Good to see the fire helped get it through her thin skull. It’s actually quite rare for a being visiting hell to listen to their superiors.

…

“H-Heyyyy Yachie! I’m back…”

“Finally!” a voice from beyond my peripheral vision in the other room says. “Where have you been, Biten? You left without even finishing your job of raking the l-GAAAAH! What happened to your arm? GAAAAAAH! Who the hell is that?!?” A dragon-turtle looking mistress says. Must be a Jidiao of some kind. It also appears even after all this time, they still aren’t very used to beings that aren’t 1 to 1 mystical beings playing dress-up as cute girls. Strange, didn’t Mima The Vengeful Spirit move here a long time ago in the name of vengeance? I thought that would’ve left an impression.

“It’s a long story, but I’ll cut it short.” The monkey pipes up. This fella is… uh… Shit, did you ever give me your name, good sir? Please don't hurt m-”

“You may call me… Konngara. Konngara The Astral Knight. I come here in peace to help keep The Hakurei Experience afloat from the bad guys.”

Of course, if you’ve been paying attention to my tale as of now, this is also another one of my false truths. I couldn’t care less about whatever is currently happening in this waste bin of human sperm. What I do care about is that it's a once-in-a-lifetime locale with a weird ability to seemingly mesmerize every single vermin and sheeple imaginable. When the time is right, when everyone least expects it, I will turn this filthy tumor they lovingly call “Gensokyo” into dust and ash right under their noses. Just like Reimu unjustly did to Hell those years ago for something none of us were even highly responsible for. For the first time, that boundary-breaking brat will bear witness to what a real God should look like.

They shall all kneel to their new head sage of the revamped Gensokyo as I quickly turn it into an expansion of my home.