What would you do if you were born as a youkai?

[Anonymous No.]

Knowing you exist because a bunch of schizo monkeys were afraid of the dark, what would you do?

[Anonymous No.]

Eat humans and live my life as the superior lifeform that I was born to be.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
have sex with those same monkeys who created me through their delusions

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818696
This is the correct answer.
Make them believe in your existence more by making them cum.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
Starve due not having the courage to kill and eat a human.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818736
You'll get used to it, as a youkai you'll live for centuries or more.

[Anonymous No.]

depends, am i a male youkai or female youkai?
if im male, chill out, if im female, do what this anon said >>43818696

[Anonymous No.]

If I have the same personality as I do now, I'll just larp as a human and neet in the human village. They wouldn't realize I'm a youkai for a decade or two

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
Do what yokai do, cause an incident and then get drunk with Reimu.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43819042
May as well just be a zashiki warashi

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818696
based

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
scare as much as possible

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
DOREMY

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
I would get a job and donate my income to the miko, to support her efforts to get rid of the monstrosities that plague this world like the youkai equivalent of Uncle Ruckus.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43820130
So you'd hate your own kind, bruh

[Anonymous No.]

Depends on the kind of youkai.
I guess I'd do what I need to do to survive and then do interesting things in my spare time. Like figuring out how being a youkai works.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43820144
Yeah, I don't want to be a flesh-eating savage and I don't want to be associated with them

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
masturbate

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
Have sex with anons
>whether they want to or not

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818696
Humans aren't even closely related to monkeys

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
Brutally modify my own soul in such a manner that I become separated from the human consensus at dire costs.

Either that or become Batman/Konrad Curze but youkai.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43821806
im afraid that a youkai turning into a genuine human is not possible anon
you see humans turning into youkai, but once that process is done, the reverse is impossible

[Anonymous No.]

What would (You)r youkai power would be, jaypee?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43821854
I don't seek to be human. I just have tear off my youkaihood. To be a youkai is to condemn oneself to comfortable imprisonment.

I care not for the "paradise" sages have made. I will not be privy to the whims and falsehoods of Man. I will be free.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43821913
The real redpill is that you should become a celestial.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43821913
You should just be a taoist and seek enlightenment.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43821894
I have an idea: the ability to scramble the future. In my presence, the power to turn fate is ripped from anyone and everyone. Divinations and fortunes become no better than dice and lottery. Visions and tarots become mere fickle gambles. Only time may reveal the future.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818687
Rumia, this isn't how you eat humans!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43821936
Their realm is corrupt and they drive away any outsider because of a lie they made so they could hoard the space for themselves, they are almost as bad as lunarians, i'd argue even moreso since the lunarians mostly just keep up to themselves while some celestials cause trouble to cure their boredom a little.

Screw them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43821936
And languish aimlessly in a empty Heaven filled with hypocrites? I would rather raze the place for their sins. I mean, look at Tenshi and see how well she turned out. Now apply that to everyone.

>>43821978
At least the Lunarians took the time to build their home. The Celestials did nothing to deserve it save a few cases.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43821894
I wouldn't physically eat humans but I would feed on their willpower. People around me would get their will to do anything sapped away from them because that's the only way I could motivate myself to do shit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
Learn a bunch of random skills with my massively expanded lifespan.
Leave a custom made kimono and pocket watch on the door step of my future human boyfriend.
Lie about being a youkai to humans.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
honestly depends, if you're a youkai your predicament can be anything, are you a wild youkai dwelling in the dark forests? are you a brutish youkai residing underground? are you an indoor youkai living in a dark manor that humans are too afraid to approach? are there fellow youkai around like a group or are you on your own? it depends on a lot of factors honestly

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
Depends, am I doing it in Japan as a youkai or in the west as a cryptid?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822114
>>43822155
For you and the rest of the context dependent anons.
The last number of your post determines your youkai species.
>1:Minor eastern youkai.
>2:Major eastern youkai.
>3:Moon rabbit.
>4:Ghost/phantom/vengeful spirit.
>5:Makai resident.
>6:Minor western youkai.
>7:Major western youkai.
>8:Other youkai animal.
>9:Tsukumogami.
>0:Zashiki-warashi.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Rolling. This is going to completly derail the thread isnt it? Like the yandere 2hous rolls.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822910
>Zashiki-warashi.
From a neet human to a neet youkai, fitting, and as a shota this time.

[Anonymous No.]

anyone have the cirno doing the vegeta pose where he is pointing at himself?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Fuck it, rolling

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
rolling, i wanna be a mothman

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
I want to be oni.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822966
Guess I'm a wendigo or something like that, time to eat humans then

[Anonymous No.]

>>43823053
DAMN IT! I have to be a mook for the Lunarians or live in a cabin in the forest in Gensokyo like a deserter.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822986
moth life begins
>>43823053
>>43823073
or work as a guinea pig in eientei and pray that you make it out of the test room in one piece (good luck with that)

[Anonymous No.]

>>43823135
I have no choice but to live in a cabin like a retired Vietnam veteran until I am called back into duty for one last mission by my old commanding officer...

[Anonymous No.]

>>43823202
And she is going to manipulate me into partaking in an incident that involves a coup meant to overthrow the Lunar powers that be and replace it with a Rabbit based military dictatorship.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Rolling, let's see!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43823202
One last job and you are out, you have my word.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43823402
Ok, what does major youkai entail? Well known youkai, or powerful youkai?

I was wanting to be a weak cute little youkai and play with everyone, I don't want to be a big league one who has to deal with scheming and incidents, and I don't want to be a hag ;-;

[Anonymous No.]

>>43823419
She promised me a full pardon and a comfortable place on her post Lunarian moon but the question now is if I really want to get involved in a genocide. Would it really be such a clean new slate with so much blood potentially on my hands? Cabin living is not the most comfortable but it is peaceful and far preferable to another war. Still, we have gone through a lot together in the past, my commander and I. I know she wouldn't suggest something as foolish as this without a near guarantee of success. I see the confidence on her face and can't help but wonder what kind of nefarious weapon she got her hands on that makes her so confident that she can overthrow the Lunarian overlords so easily...

[Anonymous No.]

>>43823588
I hear they allied with this guy, i do not know his name but apparently he has a really strong arm.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Roll

[Anonymous No.]

blow my brains out
the only good youkai is a dead one, after all

[Anonymous No.]

>>43823687
I wonder which monsters in western folklore are tricksters?
I might be a strong vampire or something.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Rolling, rolling, rolling, rawhide!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43823709
>Tsukumogami
Cool, probably a modelling knife or something since I build so many miniatures.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43823608
US government brokers a deal with a rogue group of aliens and agrees to arm them in exchange for exclusive access to the moon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Rollan

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
>>0:Zashiki-warashi.
...what?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Please anything but moon rabbit

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Here I go.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43824923
FUCK. I'm defecting to Eientei.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43824923
I will literally rape you

[Anonymous No.]

>>43824892
>Major eastern youkai
Oni I suppose. Regardless of sex, focusing on having a good time and punishing hell's sinners sounds like fun. Every once in a while I'd go to the surface and throw rocks in the lake to fuck with fishermen and scare off the fish.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43824928
I'd just go with a kitsune then and hope I don't have to live in the woods.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822114
being a manor-dwelling youkai sounds the most comfy

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Rollin

[Anonymous No.]

>>43825815
If I'm a Makai resident, then I'm a demon created by a greater demon deity (Shinki). Wings would be cool but knowing my luck I'd be a flightless demon like a minotaur. It would be a huge alignment shift to suddenly become an evil demon. I think I'd try and reopen the tourist agency between Makai and Gensokyo so that I can eventually find my way back into the outside world. This bamboo forest looks nice and quiet...good spot to covertly set up.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
I'd have to take steps to rebate my existence to not be bound by superstition in order to gain a more permanent existence, kinda like Shou.
I honestly wouldn't know how to start but I'd have at least 100 years to figure it out, also I'd go and make problems for Reimu and find a way to sniff her armpits.

[Anonymous No.]

Would you eat humans or would you rather be frens with them? Be honest

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
i'm going to shelter all the rabbits itt

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Hopefully something spooky

[Anonymous No.]

>>43829923
too bad

[Anonymous No.]

>>43828446
I got moon rabbit but I'll give eating one a go all the same.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43823706
You're probably Rumpelstiltskin or something.
Y'know, famous, but still just a shitty little gremlin that no-one likes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43828446
befriend a human (male) and eat the humans that bother him or that he wants me to eat

[Anonymous No.]

Why do you guys assume you would be a female youkai? That wasn't the question.....

[Anonymous No.]

>>43830228
I don't
I'd like to be a male youkai threatening to eat cute girls

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Let's see...

[Anonymous No.]

>>43830749
>Tsukumogami
Not the most powerful or frightening, but they aren't constrained by any sort of weird hierarchy and can have fun messing around with humans. I like it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43830203
I wouldn't be something that pathetic. Have some faith anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43828446
Eat a bad one from time to time. Terrorize the rest of them without actually hurting innocents in order to maintain the status quo. Maybe have a few select human friends as an exception.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43828446
I would become a chef, and Gensokyo would become my banquet, not even other youkais would be spared from my insatiable hunger.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43830939
That's a good way to get everyone to gang up on you, dummy

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Rolling!

[Anonymous No.]

Imagine being a male youkai scaring cute girls into thinking you're going to eat them and watching the terrified expression on their faces haha and then hugging them tightly as they scream and try to break free from your grasp

[Anonymous No.]

>>43831500
If I learned anything from Twilight's popularity back in the day, women are absolutely down with such a scenario.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43831273
obviously not going on a genocide spree. Only eating low life criminals as humans, and hanging around the shrine maiden so when a troublesome youkai is exterminated you can take its corpse to cook. Taking things slowly as you have all the time in the world.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43831548
Not false, but this board is proof of the opposite as well. There's just something about that scenario.

[Anonymous No.]

I want to be a fairy. Eternally young, immortal, playful, too stupid to reflect. Fairies dont have to work or serve in the army. Just go play near the lake.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
>you exist because a bunch of schizo monkeys were afraid of the dark
even worse that that: you exist because a bunch of moonies wanted to scare the schizo monkeys

[Anonymous No.]

>>43825902
Who said you have to evil? Just be a demonic NEET or something.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43836536
I guess there's a reason why youkai dislike lunarians

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
I did have a dream about being a Crow Tengu once that was a lot of fun, so let's see

[Anonymous No.]

I'm the moon rabbit commander's top guy! What am I gonna DO?!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Rolling, let's see what I get.

[Anonymous No.]

..

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
Can anyone share more 2hu Jeff The Killer images>?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43834895
Blessed life.
>living embodiment of ignorance is bliss

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
rollan for comfy telework

[Anonymous No.]

>>43830763
>Tsukumogami
>Not the most powerful or frightening, but they aren't constrained by any sort of weird hierarchy and can have fun messing around with humans. I like it.
What object will you awaken from?
Pic unrelated.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Here we go!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43850251
My pc.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43850265
Not terrible, hope I can vacation is Gensokyo though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43850265
Not terrible, hope I can vacation is Gensokyo though.
I wonder what canon Makai is like?

[Anonymous No.]

Hug humans. Befriend humans. Kiss humans. Playfully mess with humans. Do NOT kill humans.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43850796
Impregnate humans.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43850813
Getting impregnated BY humans.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43850859
But anon, I have no womb, no eggs, no ovaries

[Anonymous No.]

>>43850859
But I'm a youkai boy, how does that work?
I'd rather impregnate a human

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Well?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43850251
An old refrigerator. I'd surely make for a better ice youkai than Letty and Cirno.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
scare people I guess. Would there be anything else to it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43851116
Boring. Surely you can think of something else?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43851123
Drink booze all day?

[Anonymous No.]

I want to be a youkai so Reimu will beat me up.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43850796
Have human semen inside your youkai body

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
rolling and checkem

[Anonymous No.]

>>43855680
lol

[Anonymous No.]

>>43855522
This, I'll start stealing supplies from merchants on the road or something and get Reimu to come beat me up. Then I'll keep doing minor nonsense so she's forced to pay attention to me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
>Western Youkai
Cryptids like bigfoot? Chupacabra?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43861497
Fae map out pretty well imo, most creatures from old stories would do too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43861497
just become a fucking knife-ear

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
Rape.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
abuse my agelessness to make ridiculous bets in the investment/crypto market and go into hybernation

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
>western youkai
Is there a chance of me becoming a dwarf? They are different species right? Rolling for dwarf.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
make neets & hikikomoris happy

[Anonymous No.]

>>43861700
Nope. Back to the cagie, wagie

[Anonymous No.]

>>43861700
screw the elder races

[Anonymous No.]

Youkai and gods come to existence by human belief, meaning that humans came first, but said gods spawn religions about them creating humans, so who created touhou humans in the first place?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43821951
so you'd be powerless?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

[Anonymous No.]

Respect all humans :)

[Anonymous No.]

>>43861749
2hu lore states that there's just blank power about and when a God gets named and remembered it comes into existence so either there's a monotheistic creator Mod powerful enough to will itself into reality or you're looking at aliens or natural evolution.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43866365
I'd lean into there being some big God that set everything into motion. Eirin is probably older then humanity so there's a question of what everything was like before humans showed up.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43862670
I'd still have generic youkai powers, I just fuck over the following: seers, misfortune dispensers, and good luck charm salespeople.

[Anonymous No.]

Cuddle all humans <3

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
Neat

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
i wanna major eastern youkai !

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
murder, rape, be an anti hero, etc...

[Anonymous No.]

>>43818644
Find a way to return fantasy to the Outside World and then establish an early monopoly on magitek.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43875985
This but instead fuck with schizos on /x/.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43830242
If I was a male yokai my specialty would be putting dicks on women
Hopefully ones that are several times more sensitive than a regular vagina

[Anonymous No.]

>>43822855
>>43822855
Of course I have to roll!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43877584
Do not lewd the human girls, they are for aggressive hugging against their will

[Anonymous No.]

>>43872063
what friggin youkai has a passion for the bit of the old ultra violence???

[Anonymous No.]

>>43878472
Humans, who where the true monsters all along.