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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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6764317 No.6764317 [Reply] [Original]

You found your portal to Gensokyo. You plotted your path past the man eating youkai and ran until your veins pumped fire. Somehow beyond all probability you landed a job at SDM as butler. You come to realize why the position is always open.

How do you survive your first night?

>> No.6764328

I'd probably just jump in the lake hurrhurr.

>> No.6764332

>>6764317
I survived because Gensokyo isn't real.

>> No.6764337

I survive by reporting the 10th portal to gensokyo thread in a day

>> No.6764339

>>6764328
Thats actually pretty smart, that if if the mansion had a lake.

>> No.6764336 [DELETED] 

You do realize, fucking secondary scum shithole faggot fuckface, that Flandre is a hidden natural psychopath and not a LOL KILL EVERYONE BLOOD ALL OVER THE WALLS BODIES HIT THE FLOOR psychopath

She would not kill you, she's just fucked up in the head. Get that through your brain damaged fanon secondary brain

>> No.6764341

By going to sleep, obviously.

>> No.6764342

>>6764336
Yeah, she wouldn't kill you...
She'd just kill you.

Totally different.

>> No.6764345

>>6764336
You made a personality for Flandre yourself. Doesn't that mean that you are a secondary as well?

>> No.6764346

>>6764336

Damn man, calm down. And what you said is retarded anyway, see >>6764342

>> No.6764349 [DELETED] 

>>6764345

No, stupid faggot man. I am going off canon evidence from Aya's interview in PMiSS

>> No.6764353
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6764353

I tear open a portal in time and fling her into the future.

>> No.6764356

>>6764353
YOU FOOL!
you may have DOOMed us ALL!

>> No.6764360

By holding shift for focused movement.

>> No.6764363

>>6764342
>>6764346
What you said was far funnier after I unhide that tripfags post that I had filtered. It seams all the tripfags I filter here are for good reason.

Flandere is a loose canon. You have a higher probability that shes going to kill you than not, even though shes unlikely to be trying to.

>> No.6764367
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6764367

>>6764349
>Cite evidence not from the games
>Call other people secondaries

>> No.6764372

>>6764349
I quickly went through both BAiJR (which is what I think you meant to reference) and PMiSS, none support what you say.

>> No.6764375
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6764375

I uncork my inner badass.

>> No.6764377

>>6764372
She was able to have a perfectly reasonable conversation with Aya, for what it's worth.

>> No.6764379

>>6764367
What next you're going to say Marisa's Grimoire isn't canon since it's not from the games?

>> No.6764384

>>6764379
Secondary and non-canon are not the same thing.

>> No.6764388

>>6764336
Take it easy!

>> No.6764389

>>6764377
She destroyed a meteor for fun. Who is to say she won't randomly kill someone for fun as well?

>> No.6764395

How the fuck did I screw up so badly I ended up in SDM? Fuck SDM.
I load an earlier save.

>> No.6764400

>>6764395
Well you clicked on the thread. Backpetal and click another thread. This one is for like minded people who want to live a life of servitude to loli vampires and are wondering how to survive the first night when Flandere and other residents are curious to see who the new butler is. I for one would like to know.

>> No.6764402

>>6764389
Why would she? She even bothers to play by the spell card rules rather than simply blowing up Marisa's head. Modern canon Gensokyo is a friendly place.

Suika broke the moon because she was bored. Really, detonating celestial objects isn't that big a deal.

>> No.6764406

>>6764400
But anonymous, I didn't need to open the thread to be told I ended up in SDM, it's in the first post!

>> No.6764410

>>6764389
Remilia asked Flandre to destroy since she planned for it to crash into the SDM on that day. Why? Who the hell knows. Some say it was a scheme to get Flandre to finally leave the basement, or it was just another way to garner fame considering how big of a attention whore Remilia is.

>> No.6764411

>>6764402
Its not about Flandere having a murderous intent, we all know she doesnt. We dont really know what shes like when shes hungry though. The maids keep her well fed, thank god. The problem is that shes got the mind of a child and the strength of a Greek god. That spells death for a mortal man who just moved in and could potentially be the object of scrutiny.

>> No.6764413

I wonder why I wound up in the SDM since it has all of the absolutely worst Touhous that I would want nothing to do with.

>> No.6764417

>>6764410
It seemed like Remilia was just trying to get the credit for what Flandre did.

>> No.6764416 [DELETED] 

>>6764413

you misspelled eientei, faggot

>> No.6764419 [DELETED] 
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6764419

>>6764416

Problem? Not my fault you've got unbelievably shitty taste.

>> No.6764423

>>6764419
You are sounding rather hostile for a troll. Hostile leads to anger, anger leads to buttrage.

>> No.6764424 [DELETED] 

>>6764419

Kill yourself, you unbelievably shitty retard.

Go jump off a bridge with your nonexistent attempts at having so called "taste"

>> No.6764428

>>6764419
>Problem? Not my fault you've got unbelievably shitty taste.
Calm the fuck down faggot

>> No.6764429
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6764429

I make the best fucking tea in Gensoukyou. Neither Remilia nor Flandre can do shit to me because they are wrapped in orgasmic convultions after taking a sip of my masterpiece. Shit, now I have to deal with Sakuya's raging envy seeinga as her ass is gonna get dumped because of my clear promotion to the rank of Head Butler.

Picture related: It's Sakuya doing her new jod at SDM.

>> No.6764431
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6764431

>>6764424

>> No.6764432

>>6764423
>buttrage
>>6764428
>faggot

>>>/b/

Reported.

>> No.6764433

>>6764419
its like you're butte is litiraly mad

>> No.6764438

You know, since we are talking about some medieval period of Japan here, the SDM probably is one of the better places to get employment. Probably the best food and bedding in the area, parties thrown every other day with the whole mansion allowed to participate, and topped off by being surrounded by cute fairies in maid uniforms. Sure you don't get paid, but in a place without electricity and other such luxuries, would it even matter?

>> No.6764439

Wow, anger really does make /jp/ shitty.

>> No.6764450

>>6764429
You cant be head butler if you are the only butler. Thats why the OP only has "butler" in it.

Also, I already brainstormed Sakuya. No matter what, unless you gain power beyond her own, its best not to out do her in anything. She will kill you in cold blood and turn you in to deserts, and no one care. Being a mortal and you just arrived its best not to get ahead of your self.

>> No.6764454

>>6764438
Any of the houses or shrines would do nicely, depending on what you prefer. For example, Eientei would be basically the same, except with a lack of parties, and possibly a quieter environment. The Hakurei shrine would be even quieter and less crowded, except for a large festival every now and then.

>> No.6764455

>>6764439
Just ignore the butthurt troll. I am and the thread is getting along just fine.

>>6764438
What you said is pretty much how i feel about it. Also loli mistresses. Who the fuck needs money when you have loli mistresses? Shit man, I would PAY money to live that life.

>> No.6764456

By cooking eggs.

>> No.6764459

>>6764456
Took you long enough, /jp/.

>> No.6764467

>>6764450
One would have thought that Remilia would want to protect her new favourite teamaker from getting killed by a jealous maid.

>> No.6764475

>>6764467
You highly overestimate Remillia's compassion. You are food to her. Also, as stated in the OP, its your first night, one serving of good tea isnt a trend.

>> No.6764509

>>6764459
If you can't survive being thrown into walls at high speed and exploding kitchens this is a good way to get yourself killed.

>> No.6764514

>>6764454
Eientei isnt that much of a draw compared to SDM. Eientei only has one loli of note. Sure its got the loli rabbit army but Tewi is a cunt, however SDM has the fairy maid army.

The other residents are old hags. Reisen is cool as fuck but shes more like someone I would want to hang out with, not serve with complete devotion.

Eientei just seams like a drag, imo. SDM has Loli mistress, Loli mistresses crazy sister, cold blooded head maid, the best library in all of Gensokyo, Patchy and weekly raids by the most evil mage in all the lands. Also in SDM if you gain access to the library even a mortal man can get the tools he needs to earn his silly hat.

>> No.6764523
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6764523

>>6764514
Um...

>> No.6764530
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6764530

>>6764514
Different tastes for different people, I suppose.

>> No.6764533

>>6764523
I would have mentioned her but I forgot her name, sorry. Not that I dont like her or anything, from what I have seen shes pretty cool. Im just bad with names and I usually gloss over anything with tits, like the gatekeeper.

>> No.6764539

I'd tell Flan that it's tea time and mix a bit of holy water in the tea and throw it in her face, allowing me enough time to run to safety.

>> No.6764540

What kind of retard would go land a job as a butler at SDM after you've JUST gotten to Gensokyo?

As for me, I'm only going into a portal that gives me powers and a silly hate from the beginning.

>> No.6764545
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6764545

>>6764533
It's ok, anonymous. She doesn't really have a name anyway. Why would you care to remember the not-name of some random familiar? She's just another servant, after all, and there's a lot of those in the mansion, and...
It's really no problem.

>> No.6764551

>>6764540
Portals dont hand out powers or silly hats. I can almost see you standing there in your pajamas shouting out a incantation while hungry youkai surround you.

>> No.6764554

>>6764545
ZUN confirmed Koakuma.

>> No.6764555

>>6764551
Well fuck man, if it's a portal from here to Gensokyo it shouldn't be so shitty. I mean, if you are going to fantasize wouldn't you make it work out to the best situation for yourself?

>> No.6764568

>>6764555
I dont like handouts, I have pride. Thats why I work a shitty job, so I dont live off anyone like a parasite. If I have to ask for it, I generally dont want it. If I didnt earn it, then I dont need it. My fantasies are no different. Something not earned is boring. Just because some portal gave me powers, does that mean I advanced as a human or a resident of Gensokyo? No, just another parasite sucking at the tits of fate.

>> No.6764569

>>6764555
I always imagined the portal to Gensokyo would carry over your fantasy self. The person you really are in your mind, not the shell on the outside.

I'm already a wizard by my logic in this world anyways, I'd assume it would transfer over in a different form.

>> No.6764575

>>6764569
Its a portal to Gensokyo, its not that Matrix.

>> No.6764585

>>6764575
Is that what the matrix was about? I never watched it and thought it was some lame movie that ripped on the Tron concept.

>> No.6764592

>>6764568
I just thought the idea of fantasy was that you could get things given to you without effort. That's why it is a fantasy.

Also, I assume that means that you'd also have to do a fuckton of work to make the portal appear period right? What kind of shit does your fantasy-self have to go through to unlock the basic personal-transportation portal to Gensokyo?

>> No.6764601

>>6764317
I treat her like Tomu, treated Choas!
Everything went better than expected!
Means I will also be able to meet Yukari, Ran, Yuka and glutton ghost.

>> No.6764609

>>6764592
No idea, I dont know how the portal works being that I have yet to discover it. I fantasize that the blood of tripfags powers it.

>> No.6764627

>>6764609
Tripfags must have some magical fuckin' blood. Maybe that's why I'll all ready have my powers and silly hat when I go through the portal.

>> No.6764632
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6764632

>>6764317
get the fuck out of there, find the nearest sunflower field, and wait

>> No.6764636

>>6764454
If you get scientific with Eirin I am sure everything will go well.

>> No.6764640

>>6764632
For death?

>> No.6764659

>>6764585
>I never watched
>thought it was some lame movie
All my hate.rar

>> No.6764663

>>6764540
>silly hate
LOL! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd

>> No.6764666
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6764666

Oh wow, wat do threads? It's like I'm really in /tg/!

>> No.6764669

>>6764666
>Wishes he had enough imagination to participate
>Big enough newfag that he doenst know these threads have been around since before /jp/ split from /a/.

>> No.6764986

QUAL­ITY THREAD

>>
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