/lit/ - Literature

>be me
>casually browse /lit/ for years
>don’t actually read
>absorb the major plot points and common discussion topics of popular novels and philosophic texts
>can appear cultured and knowledgeable on a wide variety of literature to the average pleb
>claim to hate television and netflix and read books instead like a real intellectual (I only watch streaming slop and old sitcoms)
>don’t have to sit through thousand page tomes wasting my life away
Your move, /lit/.

I literally can't do anything without drinking soda. It's ruining my teeth. What do I do?