/lit/ - Literature

>>15118884
he trusts your intelligence to be high enough to make improvements on his work

Read the first few pages and tell him it sucks.

>>15118884
burn it and kill him

>2000 pages and 6 years worth of personal wet fantasy trash
why are /sffg/fags the worst sort of human garbage and how can we genocide them?

>>15118884
Don't read it but pretend you did. Just tell him it's fine.

Even if he had a great proofreader, I guarantee the book is nonpunishable garbage.

>>15118899
I (and probably everyone on /lit/) could probably improve this book because he's a horrible writer who failed out of community college. He can barely post something legible on Facebook, let alone write a novel.

>>15118884
>Can't be assed to help his brother achieve his dream.

Shame on you.

>>15118884
he's your brother why don't you just fucking proofread it; what have you got to show for the last 6 years of your life?

>>15118884
nut up you weeny

>>15118884
OP, can we read it?

>>15118994
>>15119079
>>15119109
>>15119218


This is the plot summary from what I've gathered:

There are four species of dragons and each lives on a different part of the continent. There are fire dragons, ice dragons, forest dragons, and wind dragons. Each type of dragon has unique powers. The fire dragons live in volcanoes, the ice dragons live somewhere extremely cold, the forest dragons live in forests, and the wind dragons live in the sky.

The different species of dragons all get along fine because they live in different habitats. The dragons earn gold by working as mercenaries for the different kingdoms that inhabit the continent. When the kingdoms have disputes with each other and go to war, they hire dragons to help them fight. The dragons always fight against the opposing army's troops, but don't actually fight the other dragons because they believe it is wrong to harm another dragon.

One kingdom wants to harness the powers of all types of dragons to create an unstoppable fighting force, so the kingdom begins a project where over many years they pay different kinds of dragons to breed with each other, and then they pay the dragons to keep the offspring. The progeny of these dragons mates with each other, and they create a race of super dragons that have the powers of all types of dragons.

The super-dragons are unbeatable in combat and do not have a sense of dragon morals, so they are willing to fight the other types of dragons too. Using the super-dragons the kingdom that owns them is able to conquer the entire continent except the outer reaches that they don't care about.

Elves and dwarves live in the outer reaches and are sworn enemies. They both decide that it's too dangerous for one kingdom to have all the super dragons, and that the continent needs to be restored to its original state. The dwarves dig deep into the earth to find the bones of extinct dragons long past, in hopes that elves can use magic to extract DNA from them and that they can use this DNA to impregnate the 4 species of dragons and create dragons powerful enough to defeat the super-dragons.

See the pic: it's an excerpt of what you wanted: DRAGON SEX

>>15119304
>She knew what she was doing was a crime against nature, but dragons will do anything for money, including crimes.
lol

>>15119304
Honestly bro that does seem pretty creative. Definitely a lot of anime-ish vibes and it’s clearly written pretty poorly. Nerds would easily eat this shit up though. Edit it for your brother and help him send to publishers, you’d be surprised what sort of shit gets through publication when it comes to sci fi etc. If it sells you’ll surely get a percentage for editing if your brother isn’t a dirty dog.

>>15119304
>filled the icy snatch
kek

>>15119304
>"Yaay!" cheered Salzar the great king as he watched the red ooze dripping from Tiberius swollen shaft

>>15119304
>the sex had been ok but the real excitement and passion for dragons is money

>>15119348
Did you fucking read the photo?

OP if you don’t have anything else to do atm you should agree on the condition you take a percentage of whatever he earns. Dragons love money,

>>15119304
>The sex had been okay but the real excitement and passion for dragons is money
Based, dragons is real niggas

>>15119304
Don't be an asshole OP, help out your brother.
It does seem pretty amusing.

>>15119304
post more

>>15119304
>the forest dragons live in forests

You had my curiosity... now you have my attention.

>>15119304
this poor kid

>>15119304
I can’t accept this story until he explains who measured the dragon’s cock

>>15119304
Lmao

>>15119348
i agree with this. there's a good skeleton there you just need to rewrite it

>>15119476
Here ya go, some crap about dragons laying eggs.

>>15119562
I don't want to spend years rewriting 2000 pages of dragon stories

>>15119590
Tell him it doesn't need editing. It's perfect the way it is

>>15119590
This aroused me

>>15119304
>>15118884
Sorry OP, but your brother is the most disgusting type of furry: a scalie.

Make a 1-2 chapters filled with wel-written dragon sex, shill it on furry webpages and reddit, make a patreon and publish one chapter of his work with reduced story and even more dragon sex every month and I promise you will earn a shitton of easy money

>>15119590
hotter than the previous bit
anyway assuming this is all real just tell him you can't dedicate the time without pay and a percentage of any profits because editing this shit would take years

>>15118884
Tell him real writers don't need proofreaders because they're well read enough to know when prose is shit. Tell him if he doesn't know how to write good prose and make sure his story flows naturally and doesn't have glaring plot holes and character inconsistencies, you're sure as shit not going to be of any help to him.

Part of me actually wants to read the first chapter of this trainwreck just for laughs.

>>15119590
>King salzar watched in horer

>>15119304
>2000 pages of THIS

>>15119590
Please upload it somewhere as a whole

>>15119304
The concept is.... kind of interesting. So what you're sharing doesn't make it seem bad.

What makes a story bad isn't the kind of thing you're sharing, it's other stuff.

So the fact that, in order to throw cold water on the story, you're telling us the lore, it suggest you aren't much of a good reader/writer yourself and you should tell your brother you're just unqualified.

Here's more since you guys love dragons so much.

>>15119590
>because the knew the value of a dollar

But they're dealing in gold, how does he know what a dollar is?

>>15119304
Furfag here. This made me wet.

>>15119645
I agree with this.

>>15119304
>>15119590
>>15119647
I am fucking laughing my ass off. The spelling and prose is amazing. I can not imagine 2,000 pages of this.

>>15119304
>dragons will do anything for money, even break the law
now THIS is character development

>>15119304
We're entering the realm of so bad it's good. It could sell if marketed the right way. Accept and take your share; you don't even have to proofread, just pretend and keep it as it is.

>>15119590
does your bro have a patreon or somewhere i can keep up with the book as he tries to get it published?

>>15119304
>Dragons care not for human laws to violate a human law is nothing to them.
Your brother needs to proof read his own shit.
>The flaps of the fire dragon did not turn Tundra on, the flaps of the fire dragon were not erotic to an ice dragon.
This prose is not only redundant, but it's also redundant and clunky and goofy. And redundant.
>These morals are dragon morals and this went against dragon morals which did not allow mating between different dragons.
These words are words that he already worded before and together the words do not wordly word well together.
>A virile man King Salzar had stayed up all Night thrusting and thrusting his wife as she screamed so loudly with passion...
Thrusting AND thrusting. I am laughing.
>King Salazar watched the display in awe of the beasts before him... due to the intensity of the display before him... The guards were so shocked by the great vigor of the DESPLAY in front of them they had never seen such a display...
>Red oozes shot forth from his shaft and filled the icy snatch of Tundra.
"Yaay!" cheered Salzar the great king as he watched the red ooze dripping from Tibierious' swollen shaft...
Well OP, there's nothing you can do to fix this. You can fix his awful punctuation and spelling mistakes and even if you really wanted to punish yourself use a thesaurus so he stops repeating the same words in the same sentence, but there's nothing you can do that will imbue this prose with beauty or an appropriate tone. That would require a complete rewrite, which editors and proof readers don't do. I recommend you give your brother some books and ask him to try and copy the author's style, because the only way he's ever going to get better is if he starts reading.

>>15118884
I used to write novels as a kid and I remember being enthusiastic and hopeful about them. Your brother seems very motivated as well. Maybe his talent is unfolding. Maybe he will stay passionate and pursue a career in literature.
My point is, don't be an asshole anon, get off 4chan and help ur brother.

I read some of the excerpts from the book and to me this just seems like thinly veiled dragon porn. I think you need to confront your brother OP

>>15119590
Oh thank you. This one isn't quite as funny. Why doesn't your brother use spell check? Computers all have them. Surely he could fix his own spelling of "sientists" and "horer."

>>15119722
You must be very fun at parties

>>15119754
Assuming this all isn't just a shitpost the brother might have just disabled it because it started flagging all the fantasy names.

>>15119722
Stfu pretentious faggot, his prose is perfect

>>15119304
How old is your bro?

>>15119763
Yes, at all those publishing parties with my publishing friends where we share stories that are unreadable garbage. Your brother writes like a 13 year old boy who only knows tired old expressions and cliches. There's nothing an editor or proof reader can do about this.

this is so fucking good

>>15118884
Tell him to cut 1000 pages. Every agent and publisher will tell him the same.

>>15119304

>>15119304
>There morals are dragon morals and this went against dragon morals which did not allow mating between different dragons
You need to kill your brother.

>>15119786
78

>>15119844
No, you need to mate with your brother, even if it is against dragon morals

>>15119722
this person right here only lap up shit, and he doesn't create.

>>15119854
:^)

>>15119304
this can't be real

>>15119811
I was gonna say get it down to 500

>>15119304
>The shaft of Tiberos measured 10 feet long and fully penetrated tundra with each thrust as it took her.

>>15119786
He's 32.

Here's some shit about racist dwarves and elves.

>>15119906
this is just sad. imagine how proud of it he is and how much of his heart and soul he poured into it, and it's just so shit.

It's obvious OP wrote this and is pretending he has a retarded brother for (you)s

I'm going to bed. I'll post a few more pages tomorrow. I have a PDF of it and it's 2236 pages. First 3 people to pick a page between 1-2236 get the page of their choice posted.

>>15119906
>deformed retard head
BOTY

>>15119923
1420

>>15119906
OP, I don't know if you're as dumb as your brother and you believe everyone here saying the story is good. But if you si, remember this is 4chan. They're trolling you.
The story is a worthless piece of shit. It can only be read ironically like something to laugh at for being so so bad. Your brother seems too far gone to notice anything of this so just make him know you read quite a bit of it, make some generic comments, tell him you like this and that but that he has to correct some dunb specific thing and bla bla. Then tell him you're too bussy to review the whole thing and let him be. I'm guessing he has some mental condition so at this point nothing you do will be of any help.

>>15119923
420

>>15119304
>10 foot dragon cock
This man will make millions from furries.

>>15119923
666

>>15119923
2236

>>15118884
A guy who sat with me at the loser table in high school used to draw these incredibly cringy and technically poor dragons of various "classes" in his notebook because he wanted to be a "game designer for Blizzard" (this was back when Blizzard was good). I told him they were "pretty good" but expressed doubt that Blizzard would be interested in his ideas to make a dragon-themed MMORPG.

He kept drawing and eventually got hired as a graphic designer after dropping out of college. He married a girl (7.5/10) he met hustling art at a con and makes a decent living to this day.

>>15119941
>He kept drawing and eventually got hired as a graphic designer

Is his art actually good now?

>>15119800
>Your brother
Why would you assume I'm the OP? I'm just some anon who thinks you sound like a very boring person.

I really want this to be a joke and OP just had a few pages of terrible fantasy he wrote as a kid which he deigns to share with us, but his demeanor and promises and backstory seriously seem too real for this to not be.

>>15119941
Never mind, I actually read that story. And he's thirty-two years old? It's over.

>>15119947
>Is his art actually good now?
Yes. Not astounding but it's professional technical quality, you wouldn't be surprised he could get work.

>>15119304
obvious fake

>>15119304
Is it just me or is this obviously a fake done by OP for humorous purposes? But a lot of people are responding to it as if they didn't know that. Which means either their new to 4chan, or I'm new to 4chan for not knowing that you aren't supposed to reveal that you know that a fake is a fake.
It seems like... his brother would just use a spell check to fix a lot of the errors himself. For one thing.

>>15119993
You'd be surprised how many people just don't care about misspellings, even people who claim to be writers. Anyway, I do think you're probably right, but it's still funny and it feels like it takes actual skill to fake being terrible in that way.

>>15119304
I am going to implement this into dwarf fortress

>>15118884
flappa wingen, flappa flappa

>>15119304
is the king also named Tiberius? lmao

>>15119993
Speaking of misspelling, I used the wrong "their". That's... my bad. I guess it's easier to misspell than I thought.

>>15119993
it would have been harder to create the OPs story as a joke than in earnest.

similar to the difficulty to attempting to create something with the charms of the The Room on purpose.

>>15119906
>but he was racist and decided to antagonize the elf further.

>>15119304
>2000 pages of this
Glad to know the world will never stop surprising me.

Proofreading and editing would ruin this. it's perfect as it is

This doesn't even seem written by a native English speaker.

>>15119304
Lmao better than elliot rodgers manifesto though

>>15119923
>As the men drifted off to sleep every single one of them was dreaming about dragons. Big dragons, small dragons, great dragons, little dragons, red dragons, blue dragons, old dragons, young dragons, even silly things fat dragons.
Joycean

>>15119993
One thing that makes me suspicious (apart from the funny sex scenes) is that it flows quite well and is remarkably easy to read. If you look at real massive piles of shit (like Empress Theresa) they're generally impenetrable and incomprehensible.

>>15119906
>"When your mother saw what you looked like in her womb she should have aborted you the second she saw your deformed retard head"
I tweaked something in my neck laughing at this

>>15119923
If there's any measure of plausible deniability of the act on your part, you have a moral obligation to post a download link to the full pdf. If he's shared it with multiple other people and you can reasonably deny that you were the one who put it on the internet (if he ever finds out), you must do it. There's just too much funny bullshit in here.

>>15120002
>You'd be surprised how many people just don't care about misspellings, even people who claim to be writers.

Some people are fucking terrible writers. I went to an elite liberal arts college. For a creative writing class one guy wrote a story that took place within Garry's Mod. The concept and execution were so bad there was no way to properly edit it.

>>15120119
>For a creative writing class one guy wrote a story that took place within Garry's Mod.
This is the culturally significant work that the creators of the unreal form of kitsch called "literary" fiction are too afraid to do...

>>15120072
Hey that's Jack Hammer's skull when he fought Pickle the prehistoric man.

>>15120119
>I went to an elite liberal arts college. For a creative writing class one guy wrote a story that took place within Garry's Mod. The concept and execution were so bad there was no way to properly edit it.
It's whackadoo bullshit like this that keeps me from ever getting too discouraged about my own writing.

>>15119304
The Queen's name is the King's, just spelled backwards.

>>15119722
>Thrusting AND thrusting
A and A = progressively A, you retard.

>>15118884
I don't know about real publishers, but if he fixed the spelling mistakes he could easily post it on a site like royalroad. And maybe even get a patreon, especially if he keeps updating the story.
It's garbage, but there's a lot of garbage stories on the internet that still get readers like the Wandering Inn. So I'm sure at least some people would read it.
Worse case scenario he ends up like CWC 2.0.

>>15119304
>What in odins name is this?

>>15120158
DEEPEST lore

>>15119906
>beat red
your brother is a literary genius

Who knows, maybe if your bro suffers for long enough he'll become a cormac mccarthy

>>15118907
I kekd hard

>>15119800
>admitting you're a nepotist
you don't know anything about quality

>>15118884
>2000 page
>6 years
He could have made a book a year. Why must he release everything at once? I sense terrible writing.
Tell him that he saved enough money over the past six years to pay for it himself, OR that you'd be willing to pay 33% of the fees just to get him off your back.

>>15120160
I'm laughing and laughing.

>>15119906
So they made the mine doors one foot shorter than the average elf? Is part of the lore that elves are incapable of crouching?

>>15119923
show us the pdf or you're fake

>>15119993
Seems like a lot of effort for a fleeting moment of attention on an anonymous image board. Imagine sitting down and writing like 5 pages of this shit just for some (You)'s. I think it is just as plausible that OP has an autistic brother who has a dragon fetish and writes terrible prose. And that OP is an asshole for taking advantage of this and posting it on 4chan for strangers to laugh at him.

>>15119906
this and the 25% nigger novella should form the Lit Canon
im in tears and convulsing silently

>>15118884
>>15119304
>>15119590
>>15119647
Thats the best thread Ive ever seen holy fuck

>>15120425
They should collaborate and write another book about a man's deep-seated racial fury, but instead of "nigger" every four words it's "dragon".

>>15120435
i don't regret checking it out of boredom. from now on i'll open any threads that catch the eye even if they seem boring.

>>15118884
>>15119304
>>15119590
>>15119647
post pdf

>>15119304
>but dragons will do anything for money

Are dragons a metaphor for jews?
Anyway I think this is great, I had sincerely fun reading it. It's like a whole new concept of writing, not trying to produce anything good, not even applying some kind of thought to the thing. It has potential.

>>15119906
>these were dier times
truly dier times my friends
>there children
fucker doesn't know how to use commas or the words there their and theyre
>the coming of age ritual for the dwarves ment swearing allegience
What did he ment?

>>15119923
1488

>>15119304
this is The Room level shit. It's so horrible, that it's great. Masterpiece of its own kind. Awesome.

Reads like a furry fanfic. I tried googling some of the pages, but nor results. Still, I wouldn't be surprised if this was just pulled off some obscure private forum.

If /lit/ likes this garbage so much, there are literal thousands of stories like that on the internet.

>>15119923
69

>>15118884
>>15119304
>>15119647
>>15119906
Be careful anon, your brother seems autistic enough to be a /lit/ lurker

>>15119590
If the dragons are so powerful, why don't they just steal the gold instead of turning to prostitution?

>>15120402
Shut the hell up and enjoy the thread

>>15119906
>He's 32.

>>15119304
Well, I feel a lot better about my own writing now. Thanks, OP. This gave me a good laugh.

>>15120939
Because they're playing the long game, nobody would mine gold if dragons just jacked it all instantly.

>>15121269
>Well, I feel a lot better about my own writing now.
Oh yeah? When has your writing ever entertained a whole /lit/ thread?

>>15121346
Keked hard

>>15118884
>>15119304
incredible, but his porn addiction needs to be
utilise that autism for something else

>>15120223
based psychopathposter

>>15119590
>they discovered when you mix ice and fire the result is water

>>15119722
“Words do not wordly word together” ya ok reddit retard

>>15120939
Dragon morals

>>15119304
"The Icy Snatch"

>>15119620
>knows the nomenclature of furries.
faggot

>>15121346
True, I am not about to be immortalized on greentext

>>15121591
I sometimes wonder what my writing would look like if I went full schizo wish-fulfillment, with no self-criticism or self-awareness. desu, I feel like doing it now

>>15119590
JESUS CHRIST

>>15119922
no shit sherlock

Anyone else have really awful writing to laugh at? I remember some anon posting a really edgy incomprehensible story about a guy killing a human trafficker and a bunch of cops in NYC, apparently from a creative writing workshop. Anyone have that?

>>15121633
I remember one dude posting about catgirls from mars that was on the same level as this.

>>15121609
Do it and post results my guy

>>15119304
>She knew what she was doing was a crime against nature, but dragons will do anything for money, including crimes.

I read this in Alan Partridge's voice

>>15119304
This is legit funny. If the whole story is like this I'd read. 9/10 has potential and this is something I could see selling. Depends how you pitch to publishing company

>>15119590
I don't know if your brother is trying to be funny but this stuff is hilarious dead serious.

>>15119747
This.

The excerpt and summary are both hilarious, but functionally they're fine. They're not high art by any means, and I wouldn't read it. But they're fine. He wrote 2000 pages, which is further than most wannabe-writers ever get.

His biggest issues are that he lacks maturity, and that the story is generic. There's a lot of amazing fantasy happening right now, and this comes across like a generic European dragon fantasy with a weirdly furry/otherkin vibe. No appeal.

But I think you should encourage him, and I think he should even consider talking to editors, taking out an excerpt of the book to send around for feedback. The fact he's put in this much effort shows he's on his way. Maybe he needs a bit of life experience, to find more interesting things to write about than wars between dragons, dwarves, and elves - nobody's that interested in seeing that anymore, I don't think.

>>15122951
>comes across like a generic European dragon fantasy
it's fucking absurd though, "generic" is a brainlet take

>>15122951
>>15122992
This, what's generic about what op has posted so far lmao?

>>15123029
>>15122992
I didn't mean it like that lol. I mean the whole setting of dragons, elves, dwarves, etc. is stale, and it's hard to sell because of that. I meant in terms of marketing, not in terms of the actual excerpt.

If he wants to get a publisher excited, he should consider finding a twist on the whole thing that would alter it and steer it away from a Dungeons & Dragons type setting.

OP seems really sad desu. Imagine shitting all over your brother's passion on an image board. You suck man.

>>15121633
If you want more junk, just go to a self publishing website and look at their library of trash. I have a whole folder free previews.

>>15121609
i do this in my head, sometimes literally imagining how i write it down as i observe the scenes, but never had the courage to mar the paper with it.
we must start a thread for this kind of writing.

>>15119645
Agreed

Legendary pessoa-chan thread. God bless

>>15118884
Charge him the market rate for book editing. Then he'll probably stop.

>>15118884

If you dont want to edit it at least give it a read. Ive seen some similar passion projects and they are usually a coping mechanism of sorts. Try to take a deeper look at it than "dumb brother writing uberfantasy wish he would do something useful". Not that im advocating the copious amounts of hours and dedication given to something that is in essence not useful but you might be able to get a better understanding of your brother. Say he would die tomorrow would you still feel the same complete apathy for something he poured his heart and soul into?

>but anon its bad and its over 2000 pages its easy for you to say you dont have to edit a sperg dragon fantasy more than twice the size of c&p

I get it.The thing is though this book (gauging from the excerpts at least) is far from ready to be professionally edited. If he really cares so much about the book and it is really a passion project have him fix it himself. Have him run it through spell check (which would take awhile) and then he can take pride in the fact his book is free from spelling/grammar errors.Then work through major potholes etc with him. Honestly finding discrepancies in the plot of the book (within established rule sets the book makes as well as working things out like how economy and war in this world works) would be a interesting mental exercise and he would be doing most the work making it better. Though understand he might take offense since this is a his passion project maybe start with pointing out little things as constructive criticism ("wouldn't it make more sense if...(this and this) because (logical explanation based on the set rules of the book)") .His whole life is (by the sound of it at least) centered around the book so you could help him a lot by helping him help himself make something at least somewhat coherent and this way he would be doing most the work.

>>15123802
first have him learn how to use commas because run ons are also shit

Can someone screencap this thread and forever immortalize it?

>>15124240
xd include me in the reddit screencap xDDDDDDDDDDD

>>15119722
gay

>>15119880
no 2000 pages is good content bro

>>15119928
STFU let him post more

https://vimeo.com/62502549
14.30-16.00

or
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F2Rab99q0g

>>15124342
>>15119880
>>15119811
Why do autists always go overboard? Dude, you have never written anything before, how about starting with short stories? But no, gotta be a trilogy magnum opus, with a world rivaling tolkien in depth, not just a continent, or a planet, but a whole universe !

>>15119906
>your the deformed one

>>15118884
Help your brother out. I swear, a lot of the people here make such a big deal about family and shit but when presented with an opportunity to do something meaningful for a family member they will make any excuse to avoid doing it

>>15124469
Plot twist: he doesn't have a brother, he's the autistic dragon fetishist.

However, most likely he just made the whole thing up after finding some particularly hilarious furry smut.

>>15119304
>>15119590
>>15119647
>>15119906
Jesus, forget what I said. Editing this is a burden that should be foisted on no man

>>15124373
>short, meaningful stories

>>15119906
It's honestly fine. A couple points, I wouldn't use the word "retard" since being that crass doesn't work with the tone - this is a classic fantasy story, and that word makes it seem more amateurish, and takes you out of the setting. Also, write "one thousand" instead of "1000" - having the numbers makes it feel like an internet post rather than lit.

What's your brother's education level? Has he traveled? Has he held interesting jobs?

>>15124524
Who are you quoting?

>>15119304
>>15119590
>>15119647
>>15119906
put this through a decent autocorrect software.

>>15124544
>Who are you quoting?

>>15124540
>It's honestly fine
I don't see how you can say this

>>15124540
the crass but entertaining moments take away all the fury at the bad spellings

>>15124571
>>Who are you quoting?

>>15124572
>>15124595
okay, never mind. I just read it a little closer, and it is pretty yikes
>dier times
>stared at each other like eternal enemies
Before I just lightly skimmed it. But I've seen a lot of shitty fanfics and student stories in my day.

>>15124616
>Eat a dick

>>15122119
Catgirl Misaki the Vampire Hunter is the title, it's a masterpiece.

>>15120365
It is very difficult to move in most mines, dwarves would have an obvious tactical advantage here, fighting against crouching elves. I would pay dragons to guard my mines if I was a red beat faced dwarf king.

>>15119647
>"Who else wants to were saggy pants in my unit?" He yelled. Nobody said yes they wanted to wear saggy pants but several men pulled there pants up to be extra cautius.
>He smiled plesed with himself at his training powess. "That gentlemen is how you train a dragon" he said to the gaurds. They all applauded because they were so impressed. "Wow" said the gaurds who had been clueless on how to train dragons.
>Canis gave the gold to the fastest sitting dragon and the dragons were now so well behaved that they were still sitting.
OP this doesn't need any proofreading, it's beautiful as is. This brought tears to my eyes; it's a gift to the world.

>>15124714
makes sense

Regardless of how bad your brother is, 32 isn't too late to make progress as a writer, though he's gonna have to put a lot more work in.

Tell him to write short stories before trying a novel. Most great writers wrote short stories first, then worked their way up to the novel.

>>15119923
why not just buy dragon eggs

>>15124868
Also, tell the fucker to read. The only way to be this bad is to not have read. Literally, if he reads 100 books over the next couple years, he'll be way better than he is now and he won't make all these shitty mistakes.

>>15119906
>and became of age they would learn racism.
I've laughed for the last 5 minutes OP. You have to share the full thing with us.

>>15124958
This actually gives me a good idea. You should post the entire thing here. We'll all go through it, mostly to find silly shit, and post in this or other threads. Then you can gather all our comments, sanitize them and remove anything mean, and then give them to your brother as the editing/criticism.

>>15119304
Why do dragons need money anyway

>>15125164
Rent money, go out to eat every once in a while, medical attention if something bad ever happens, a very occasional vacation

>>15119304
i havent read the rest of the thread yet but i think its funny when a comment gets a lot of replies

>>15119647
>>15119590
>>15119304
I can't decide OP, if your brother is a genius or legit retarded

>>15119647
I feel like I'm getting worse at writing just by reading this.

>>15119304
still better than sein und zeit. or derrida.

>>15119304
generic fantasy trash

To answer your question seriously, OP, do not in any way shape or form agree to help your brother. I "edited" two fantasy books for someone as illiterate as your brother and it was a miserable experience unworthy of the sizable chunk of money I earned.

First off, I guarantee your brother doesn't actually know what proofreading is. You'll start by fixing spelling and grammar, then start making changes to syntax to fix obvious problems like redundancies and misplaced modifiers, but once he sees how well it "flows" after you've rewritten it, he'll start throwing vague requests at you to improve entire passages. So now you've gone from proofreader to a genuine editor, not that he understands that. But the work is so fundamentally shit, that even to get it to a "readable" state ("readable" meant as loosely as possible: readable to absolute retards who have no idea what competent writing is), you have to start rewriting entire passages. And if he likes what you do there, his vague requests will extend into the actual creative parts of the work itself: "Hey can you rewrite Genevevere so she's super sexy? I liked how you described that knight so can you make Rekognigorian a gigantic badass? Like Aragorn but more badass?" Now you're actually a ghost writer, but your brother knows so little about writing, in his head you're still a proofreader who's just doing a little improvement here and there. And since by writing 2000 pages he's already shown himself to have generalized mental diarrhea, while you're rewriting his book, he'll constantly be throwing AWESOME new ideas at you to write in, never for a moment stopping to think that he's introducing plot holes or blatantly retarded contradictions.

The best thing to do is sit down with your brother and edit the first paragraph with him, pointing out every single mistake he's made, going at length to explain why, on every level, his writing needs improvement. Given how bad he is you should spend an hour or more on just the first page. Then point out that if you've already spent this much time on just one page, can you really ask your brother to spend that much time on the whole book? Hopefully, and probably not since your brother is one psychologist's visit away from a diagnosis, he will understand that he is asking of you a Herculean task. (And Herculean in the mythological sense that it is pointless, arbitrary, and unending; a task demanded by a vindictive family member.)

THESE PEOPLE CANNOT BE HELPED. STAY AWAY OR SUFFER YEARS OF MISERY THAT WILL ONLY END UP WITH HIM DISAPPOINTED AND BLAMING YOU

>>15125472
gb2 reddit jackass, we are looking at the birth of a new epic

>>15125508
ok i take back what i said. OP, help your brother and update us on the deepening strain in your relationship with your brother. that will be an epic in itself

>>15125508
that's a good interesting and funny post you n**ger, you fucking piece of trash. if a post is good, even if the content doesn't interest you or conflicts with your here-and-now preferences and desires, you should reward the effort put into it. don't be a faggot caveman phoneposter and evaluate every post under THIS POST GOOD FOR THING ME WANT? THIS POST SERVE IMMEDIATE NEED ME CURRENTLY PURSUE?

sometimes you'll see a guy make a good effortpost about a topic you don't particularly care about, or even something you strongly disagree with, but it will be funny or insightful nevertheless. the only people who respond to posts solely on the basis of "DOES THIS AGREE WITH ME" are roasties and normie tourist phoneposters who think 4chan is a chatroom and don't understand that it exists because of autists letting out little bursts of genuine investment. as roastie pigs and phoneposter scum become more and more common on what's left of this website, effortposts should be even more encouraged, not further stamped on. the trend is already downward, we are already in decline. be part of the solution, the final solution, to the normie/roastie question.

>>15125472
This is a fair point, but I might recommend getting him into a writing workshop?

When I was 18 I was the best writer in an intro to creative writing class. I got the Midas touch syndrome, where I thought any shitty thing I shat out must be good.

A year later I took a higher level creative writing class, and submitted shitty stories I'd shat out the night before the classes. There were some serious writers in this one, and my bullshit got shut down HARD, over and over again. It was a little traumatic, but it was probably exactly what I needed, because writing well takes effort, and I never would've moved forward without that experience.

I'm just glad that happened to me at 19, and not 32. Then again, I also never wrote shitty dragon porn.

>>15125472
What happened to the books you edited? Were they eventually self-published?

>>15125508
Shut the fuck up tourist. Is this the first "ebin" bad writing thread you've been in?

>>15125674
lol he just wants more funny stuff to read.

Don't get in an argument, you two. It's a waste of time. Do something productive.

>>15125606
Yes, they were self-published and sold terribly. He had high aspirations of course, but his main point in writing them was to cosplay as the characters in the book and create a sort of "literary universe" with books, real-life characters, videos, social media posts, etc. He was happy with my work and didn't blame me for their lack of success since I was very clear that since I was not doing "creative" work (even though I was basically a creative consultant), the work was "his," including its future sales. While I am not proud of the work, it was at least linguistically competent, which was a feat considering how awful the original was, parts of it being as unintentionally comic as OP's brother. Ex. swapping Virginia with vagina during a sex scene--his being a gay man likely played a factor in this. No I will not post anything

>>15125573
>he said, in perfect reddit spacing
fuck off back to r/4chan

>>15119404

>>15125573
>This is a fair point, but I might recommend getting him into a writing workshop?

What goes on in those writing workshops? My uncle was in one and spent several years writing a cowboy book that was unreadable. It was 500 pages of wish fulfillment, polygamy, political commentary, disgusting sex scenes, and gun fighting.

>>15125769
Massive group orgies, I'd suspect.

>>15125769
It depends. I was in good ones at a decent university. In them, literally everybody in the class reads everyone else's stories, or they break up into groups. You basically go through, edit people's stories, then give them feedback. It works out because you usually get a decent mix - some people will tear your story apart, some will act as proofreaders, and some will point out good things. As nice as it is to be complimented, the only really useful things that stick with you are the critical ones.

That said, I've seen hobbyist workshops around town, and it usually seems pretty mediocre, but I assume there must be some good ones.

>>15125769
Flannery O'Connor once remarked that some were criticizing writing classes for discouraging people from writing; she said these were their virtue.

At the absolute best a workshop could improve something bad into something mediocre, but if you have actual talent they will either get jealous and try to destroy it or just tell you it's good and offer no help. Like democracy, the bigger a group, the greater the regression to the mean.

In OP's case, it would be a convenient way for him to outsource the difficulty of telling his brother he sucks. I would recommend it, but the downside is that he might just get pissed off and redouble his demand that his brother help since "no one else" really understands what he's trying to do.

>>15125711
I've never really used Reddit, and I've been on 4chan since 2009. So if you're not going to say anything useful then go away, retard.

Don't reply to this, I'm not interested in arguing with you.

>>15125806
>good ones at a decent university.
Oh yes, those always employ the most censorship. No f-word, no r-word, no bad words at all, no triggering themes. Remember tho champion progressive rights!

>>15125814
>Don't reply to this, I'm not interested in arguing with you.

>>15118907
now that's funny!

>>15125818
It's not about the censorship of swear words. If anything, the ones in universities are a lot harsher. The ones I see around town are too nice. It's much more effective to explain why something's shit at great length, than just to cuss at someone.

>>15125813
>At the absolute best a workshop could improve something bad into something mediocre,
This is true. However, the real value of the workshops isn't really to improve the thing that's being workshopped. I think, as you alluded to, the value is to get young writers to be really critical of their own work, to be infinitely more rigorous with it.

>but if you have actual talent they will either get jealous and try to destroy it or just tell you it's good and offer no help.
Partially true, but there were some students who were so good that it set an example for everyone else. It's useful to know who you're competing with.

>>15125844
>than just to cuss at someone.
No, you don't understand. You're simply not allowed to bring certain writings in.

>>15119304
>Just then the queen Razlas entered the room and gased at the smell smell of smoke
some of these errors are more funny than the plot itself OP, this is fucking gold

>>15125874
That's not true either, in my experience. You're probably right if you're referring to racist content, but young 20 year olds who want to get into avant-garde literature bring in some fucked up stuff. Rape, incest, torture, there's some fucked up stuff in student lit. Which actually makes sense - they're all just getting started, so they're experimenting. You can tell people are reading Burroughs, Plath, Ellis, and edgy people like that.

>>15119590
>repetition of constipation similes
I'm fucking dying

>>15119906
>blashnickleon

your brother is sick.

Is this just coomer version of Sanderson? The prose isn't too far off

>>15126031
Don't do my boy Sanderson dirty like that. He's bad, but he's nowhere near this bad.

>>15118884
Just indulge your brother. At least do the first chapter. He's your brother

>>15119923
I unironically think this could become a masterpiece if a bit edgier. The humor is glorious at times but often oozes immature vibes (as in lacking a true punchline).

On the bright side, your brother's prose is really engaging. The length of his work isn't an issue.

>>15119304
>in hopes that elves can use magic to extract DNA from them and that they can use this DNA to impregnate the 4 species of dragons and create dragons powerful enough to defeat the super-dragons.
Is this a fetish thing?

>>15119304
I guess this might qualify as comedy.
It could feasibly be purchased by ironic teenagers.

>>15126165
He's also inspirational for being the only author with high functioning down syndrome in fantasy

>>15119645
Is this a joke? Did you read the excerpts? You're out of your fucking mind.

>>15118884
Wait... is about Frost Dragons and dragon politics? Real question.

>>15119304
>one line in and it's full of mistakes.
Gold

Gotta be fake, but it's entertaining nonetheless.

>>15119645
>a trip fag being a pretentious chain chewing dunce
unsurprising

>>15119906
>32
PLEASE tell me you're joking. I don't believe he's thirty-two

>>15126638
I have seen far too much amateur fantasy fiction to immediately assume this is fake.

>>15121346
Mine has. Be larping as paki killer about to go to prison

>>15124373
This. Beginners and retards always start off with the bloated idea they've fermented for 10 years since they were 15.

>>15118884
>my brother spent the last 6 years writing a 2000 page fantasy novel about dragons
And you spent the last 6 years reposting other peoples' wojak edits on 4chan.

>>15124540
Dude, it's got dragon sex, it's as crass as it gets

2000 pages over 6 years is hardly life consuming. A lot of people will cover that in diary entries alone

>>15119304
this is amazing, how could you not agree to edit something this funny?

>>15120452
brilliant, OP please make the necessary edits

>>15126660
you don't outgrow autism

I am 27 and I can picture my 32 year old self behaving that way lol

What kind of audience exactly is there to be edited for? Sounds like drivel to me.

>>15120425
what is this nigger novella, someone brief me on it

>>15119906
i am physically in actual tears reading this

>>15119906
how is this so bad but good? it actually reads quite easily

your brother is a gift to humanity

>>15119304
Holy fucking shit no. He spent 6 years thinking about that? This is a glimpse into reality I never asked for

This is like A Song of Ice and Fire but better.

>>15126822

>>15119906
Blashnickleon is unironically a fucking great name.

>>15126994
Did he ever self-publish or post this anywhere? It can't just die with the author.

>>15127192
it's unpublishable dude. I also doubt he actually had a whole novella, probably just what he posted and a bit more that wasn't as funny

>>15119304
>The icy snatch of tundra

lol

>>15119304
>"come sit on my lap dear"

>>15127224
I said self-publish. Anyone can be a published author thanks to Amazon.
And I believe in Nigger Novella Man, 55000 words isn't all that much.

>>15125814
>I've been on 4chan since 2009
fuck off newfag

>>15124540
are you retarded by chance?

>>15119304
Still better than game of drones

>>15126910
I mean. that is not exactly hard.

>>15120697
Autism

OP pls deliver

>>15121609
It's fun sometimes, it tells you a lot about yourself. I did it jokingly but I ended up writing a lot about necrophilia, killing and cannibalism, and suicide, not sure what to make of that other than deleting it moments later.

>>15119906
Honestly it's kinda cool. You can tell there is a whole world in the dudes head. It's probably all he thinks about. I kind of like it, even though the writing is garbage. Something about it appeals to my 12 year old self

>>15119304
Kino

>>15119906
>To keep the elves out of the mines the doors were intentionally only 4 feet and 6 inches tall witch is 1 foot shorter than the average elf.

>>15119906
This is unironically fucking kino. That scene was hilarious. Please contact Netflix and get them to make a live action adaptation.

>>15119488
kek

>>15128127
Gonna be honest, it might sell as a YA novel

>>15119923
Fuck that give us page 1

>>15118884
>2000 page fantasy novel
Gross, this is what's wrong with literature, everyone wants to be seen as smart, they think smart people write books, and they think smart people write obscenely long books. Because most people don't bother with reading at all, 'writing' a book is enough to put someone on the level of Tolstoy. Quality is secondary. And this sort of navel gazing leads to embarrassingly bloated, poorly crafted novels. Just be with satisfied doing something, no matter how small, well.

>>15119923
Well, i want to see how it starts, so, 1. This is a great thread. If it dies, make one more.

>>15120116
I, for one, would read all 2200 pages

>>15119304
>King Salzar
>Queen Razlas
Fucking thought he was slick. What a fag.

>>15119923
>tomorrow
>post: 21 hours ago
I mean, i sleep for 22 hours every now and then but I doubt this is the case

>>15128392
What is this book?

Op your bro is literally just writing Aragon furry fanfic. Please bring him back down to reality not only is the plot terrible so is the writing style and grammar.

>>15128403
American Psycho

>>15119590
Poor gaurds

>>15119304
Someone screencap and collage this thread. Instant classic material right here

Anyone with a good choice willing to start the audio book?

>>15119590
>In a way, thought king Salzar, pregnancy is a bit like constipation.

>>15119647
>"The dumb dog won't sit" relied houndmaster Canis (although back then he was not houndmaster, he was just a boy)

So this is late western culture... not bad

>>15119304
>>15119590
>>15119647
>>15119906
>>15119923
holy fucking dragon dick

>>15119590
>In a way, thought king Salazar, pregnancy is like constipation.
10/10 similes

fuck me print and publish and ship this shit

>>15119923
please god tomorrow can't come soon enough

Is your brother Karl Pilkington?

>>15128706
tomorrow already came and went
>tfw op never delivers

>>15128529
We need the full pdf first.

Thread archived for posterity
https://archive.is/VnY5Y

>>15128856
I take it you aren't familiar with the sites that do this automatically

>>15128885
What if the post is deleted because the janniggers?

>>15128898
It still gets archived. In fact, It's one of the ways to check replies you may have missed before the thread got deleted.

>>15128914
I usually never check archieves, but anyways.

>>15119906
>The young were not born racist, but over time as they grew into the culture and became of age they would learn racism.
>The coming of age ritual for the dwarves ment swearing allegence to the dwarves and swearing to hate all elves and kill one if it ever entered the mines.
fucking kek

>>15121633
Not necessarily awful writing, but this whole thread reminds me of the OP a few years back who claimed to be working for a publishing house and to have received a piece of well-written fantasy with lots of interspecies (human-dragon) sex as a subsmission. Apparently the quality was good but he was considering not passing it up to his boss because of the content. The whole thread was asking for excerpts and pushing him into recommending the piece for publication.

I don't think OP ever told how it ended up and I doubt it was ever real, but it's a nice memory nonetheless.

i wanna believe

>>15124681
This reminds me of Flashbird the Vampire, I think that was the title. Satiric fanfiction written by a slick anon, very funny.

>>15118884
Worst shit I've read in a long time, kek. No chance this guy has any talent. I know lit likes to be contrarian and pretend this is somehow good.

>>15128333
Im pretty sure his bro is just autistic

>>15127291
would you really want to read 55k words of that? the shock value will wear off. and from those excerpts, his style seems okay but semantic satiation kicks in pretty quickly so it turns into just a blur

>>15126697
so it was fake after all.. still based though.

>>15128529
i speak english normally, but just for you bros i can read it in ridiculously thick russian accent. relevant? no, but it'd add to the comedy

>>15129138
Try to read it an a serious voice, it'll just make it funnier

Does your brother need an illustrator? (Unironically asking)

>>15123346
link please fren

>>15120097
That sentence sparks joy. If only the rest were written like that.

quick anons what do i get my wife for her birthday for under 30 dollars

>>15129365
you mean, books?

>>15129365
Just give her the dick

>>15129365
gift card

>>15125806
And you do this in person? I’d be so embarrassed if someone read my story and critiqued it in person I would probably go red and look hurt and unable to respond. Guess it’s not for me.

>>15129679
>receiving a $30 gift card from your husband
LOOOOL

>>15129862
you could chuck in some chocolate and flowers from some garden

>>15129878
>giving your fat wife more fatfag fatfood for her disgusting cookiehole
That's a hard pass

>>15129894
some clothes maybe? socks, t-shirt, hat

>>15129966
Actually I do like to upgrade my bitch's slut uniform selection but fuck it's expensive. Last time I took her shopping I spent like $500 I'm pretty sure. It doesn't help that the nice lingerie (to my taste) is like $60-70 a piece

>>15119304
>using "[insert here]"
trash at first sight...
jesusfuck i should have stopped reading

>>15130028
She maybe could wear like a real uniform, same thing everyday ... and at home take it off and be naked; and on weekend she can wear whatever else she has in her wardrobe

>>15118884
What's the name of his book?

>>15118884
when the full pdf?

>tfw OP never delivers

>>15130496
Beyond the blue sky lmao

>>15129729
lol that's pretty much exactly how I reacted back then. After you do it a few times you get over it, though.

At first it can feel a little humiliating when you bring in something you feel good about, and people shit on it. This is the thing you need to get past. But once you get past that, and stop thinking you're special, then you start looking at what you write a lot more critically, which is useful and important. You also become more confident in what is good, and then you just kind of feel embarrassed that you didn't catch all your mistakes yourself, or didn't do things better that people point out. Because when you start getting more competent, the ways you mess up are either out of laziness, or because you were blind to an issue that's obviously there.

Again, those sorts of workshops have limited use, I think they're really just to help you get started. That said, even after that it's extremely useful and important to get critical feedback.

If you want to know why Margaret Atwood writes young men so well, it's because she shows her drafts to young male writers so they can tell her what she's doing wrong. That's also why James Patterson is so terrible at writing young women - he doesn't seek that feedback, and gets everything wrong.

OP is a larping faggot who doesn’t deliver