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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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23189887 No.23189887 [Reply] [Original]

I'm not doing it for a calculated effect (not sure how to do that yet), I just think it's cool.

Bill is the protagonist, internal monologuing in 1st person past tense.
The narrator speaks in 2nd person present tension.

>Janice: Sir, please wake up.
>Bill: I am awoken by someone calling to me.
>Narrator: "Bill Woodsworth, 40 years old. That is who you are. And you are about to discover that today will be the worst day of your life."

>> No.23189892

I don't see why not. Might try using different fonts or something too to make it clear there're different voices.

>> No.23189901

https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/books/98/11/01/specials/gass-present.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

>> No.23189905

>>23189887
Anything is possible. You are the writer. You are in control of your story. Art is abstract and subjective, and anything you want to do is permissible.

>> No.23189912

>>23189892
>Might try using different fonts
Totally, use a Western Woodblock for one, and MS Comic Sans for another. You won't piss your readers off at all.

>> No.23189920

>>23189892
Just use Italics for the first person

>> No.23189963

>>23189892
It's actually a visual novel so there will be different colors for the names and so on.
>>23189901
Thanks will check it out later. Is the TL;DR that present tense is hard?
>>23189905
Thank you.
>>23189912
Haha

>> No.23189972

>>23189887
f gardner does this masterfully. study his works

>> No.23189983

>>23189963
>Thanks will check it out later. Is the TL;DR that present tense is hard?
Nah, it is more about the tendency to shun the present tense and why and if we should. It does a good job of covering some of the issues with present tense and these things should be understood by anyone who is considering using it.

>> No.23190122

>>23189983
I see, I'll definitely read it then. Thanks for the summary.

>> No.23190808

>>23189887
I don't understand why you would draw the body realistically, but the face is this flat mask. Explan?

>> No.23191777
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23191777

>>23189887
>Lust provoking image

>> No.23191799

>>23191777
i wish i still got aroused by the underwear section of the sears catalog

>> No.23192153

You realize both the internal narration and the narrator use present in this example, yes?

>> No.23192582
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23192582

>>23192153
If by internal narration you mean the main character's monologue, then yeah I can see that. Why do you ask fren?

>> No.23192617

>>23192582
You said you were mixing tenses, but both are present. The internal monologue is not 1st past as you claimed.

>> No.23192671

>>23190808
Heterosexuality